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Do your kids get stressed over social media comparisons? I have 180k+ followers on TikTok. Here’s what I’ve learned: a 
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Some people use social media as a STAGE. Others use it as a virtual HANGOUT.
Neither approach is bad, but if you act like it’s a HANGOUT but expect the results of a STAGE, you will be emotionally devastated.
Neither approach is bad, but if you act like it’s a HANGOUT but expect the results of a STAGE, you will be emotionally devastated.
People who use social media as a STAGE (regardless of their follower numbers) strategically plan, time, and stage their posts. No matter what their content is, they are there to sell tickets. They are performing for an audience.
People who use social media as a HANGOUT casually post whatever matters to them, regardless of whether it is “high quality” or not. They are posting so Grandma, Uncle Bob, and their bestie from middle school know what they are up to. They are performing for friends.
The social media disconnect comes when people - especially teenagers - treat it like a HANGOUT but start believing that they are expected to receive the results of a STAGE.
There is nothing wrong with treating social media as a STAGE. Lots of comedians, teachers, and entertainers use social media to spread entertainment and resources for free. It’s one of the few places you can get hours of entertainment without paying a penny.
BUT KIDS DON’T SEE IT LIKE THAT. They see someone getting 3 million views and think that’s the standard. They think it’s all a matter of people liking you, and base their self esteem off this.
It’s not about being “liked”! Did you know that posting at certain times of day hits a “sweet spot”? Did you know that each social media website has a golden number of hashtags to use that you don’t want to go over? It’s strategy. It takes practice.
I’ve attended online seminars, watched TedTalks, talked with other creators, and practiced for hours every day to get to my TikTok follower count. It’s not about whether people “like” me. It’s about knowing the algorithm, putting on a show, and marketing myself as a product.
And I love it! I’m disabled and would struggle horribly in a “normal” job. Social media has been a lifeline for me. I am so honored and floored that I get to put on a show for thousands of people every day. But I’m not the standard.
Kids just posting fun things for their friends and feeling crushed when they don’t go viral is the equivalent of feeling crushed when they don’t win a Tony award for their school play performance.
Social media may have Beyoncé, Rhett and Link from Good Mythical Morning, and your mom all shoved together, but they aren’t playing the same game.
