BREAKING NEWS: Aston Villa and Everton will finish the season having only played 37 games as the Premier League can’t be arsed to reschedule their postponed Villa Park fixture. #AVFC #EFC

Premier League statement: “It’s the most-often played fixture in English Top-Flight football, so we figured they’ve already seen enough of eachother. We don’t understand how this is the case though as football was clearly invented by us in 1992”.

PL (cont.) “We encourage supporters of both clubs use our video game partners, EA Sports, to play out the match themselves on FIFA21. Failing that, we’ll use our social media presence and hold a Twitter poll to see what the outcome would’ve been”.