THE DOUBLE BLUFF ()

I see shoes in the masjid, so in order to humble myself, I straighten/tidy them.
BUT
Only because I thought I'm something, and this act will humble me, me who is too high for shoes, did I do it.
I just played myself.
1/5

I am told that I'm knowledgeable. So I make some fancy remark about how ignorant I am, how sinful, how little I am.
BUT
A warm glow spreads throughout my psyche, I have successfully obliterated my nafs I tell myself. The telling awe in the eyes of the onlooker confirms this.
2/5

I am asked "are you an aalim". So I reply "no, I'm a student of deen". AlHamduLillah.
BUT
Thinking myself worthy of this title too is pride, arrogance, ujb. I consider myself worthy of all the promises for those great men. (or women, relax)
3/5

I publicly call myself a dog, a worm, dirt.
BUT
The reality is I'm worse than anything that exists. By comparison, I have done these innocent creatures a disservice.

My reliance is on Allah Ta'ala's Mercy alone, nothing else matters.
4/5

I anticipate your wonder at reading this thread, I tell myself I'm glad to have helped.
BUT
I marvel at my perceived brilliance, even this explanation of the double bluff intrinsically a double bluff.

And so the game goes on...
5/5