I guess I'll speak on the "are trans people loveable" "debate" though it goes against my better instincts. Let me start by framing this discussion by noting that there is no shortage of adults telling newly out trans people of all ages that they won't be able to find love (1)

I've spent years working with parents whose kids are newly out & believe me, "what about finding a partner?" is one of the first questions that comes to mind for many. It's certainly repeated by a huge number of health professionals & it's embedded in popular media (2)

So no, young folks aren't wandering into transition without any sense of the notion that trans people are sexually and romantically repulsive. On the contrary, most that I have met (and I was a counselor for trans youth for 4 years) express serious anxiety on the topic (3)

For all of the very real oppressions & challenges faced by trans people today, one of the greatest joys of my time as a counselor for trans kids was supporting them into coming into the awareness that we are INDEED loveable & there are many who want to love us (4)

Everyone worries abt love. Everyone grapples with the struggle of our imperfect bodies & the potential for cruelty. There's nothing in the world more normal than that. Learning to be true to ourselves in spite of the fear of rejection is a part of human self-actualization (5)

Yes, trans people's bodies in particular are stigmatized. And there is a world of struggle that comes with that . But there is also a vast world of potential partners, both cis and trans, who are deeply - deeply - attracted to us. (6)

When I came out, my romantic world opened up - not only because my trans body is beautiful and amazing, but because I was more deeply in love and touch with myself. I am far more romantically fulfilled for transitioning - and engaged to my wonderful partner of 5 years (7)

And yes! I had so many misstarts and bad experiences on the way. Who doesn't? Yes, I experienced violence & transmisogyny & I still do. I've been kept a secret & had partners who are ashamed of me. But that has never been a reason to be less of who I am (8)

I've lived & worked in queer & trans community since I was a teen, & Lord knows I hate it sometimes. But if there is one consistently positive thing I know from experience, it is that everybody and every body is capable of loving & worthy of love (Fin)