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today is #lesbianvisibilityday so here‘s a huge thread of things that are lesbophobic and explaining why they are
non-lesbians rt!!
non-lesbians rt!!
1. calling men lesbians
this one should be obvious but i still see way too many non-lesbians do it. there‘s nothing funny about calling a man a lesbian. lesbianism isn‘t simply about being attracted to women, it‘s WOMEN (and nbs) being attracted to women exclusively.
this one should be obvious but i still see way too many non-lesbians do it. there‘s nothing funny about calling a man a lesbian. lesbianism isn‘t simply about being attracted to women, it‘s WOMEN (and nbs) being attracted to women exclusively.
2. the d slur and L slur
both slurs are for lesbians exclusively. if you‘re a bi woman you can‘t say the d slur and contrary to popular belief, lesbo is a slur. if you‘re not a lesbian, don‘t say it. additionally the d slur is a slur for black lesbians.
both slurs are for lesbians exclusively. if you‘re a bi woman you can‘t say the d slur and contrary to popular belief, lesbo is a slur. if you‘re not a lesbian, don‘t say it. additionally the d slur is a slur for black lesbians.
++ while i think it‘s fine for non lesbians to say "lesbophobic" a lot of lesbians prefer you to say "lesbianphobic" or "lesbiphobic" so you don‘t use the slur. saying lesbophobic itself isn‘t lesbophobic though, but you could still consider using another word
3. "if lesbians can control themselves around women (...)"
stop bringing lesbians into such a sensitive topic when this is about men. we don‘t need to constantly be brought into connection with men. lesbians exist without men. leave us out of this and bring your point across +
stop bringing lesbians into such a sensitive topic when this is about men. we don‘t need to constantly be brought into connection with men. lesbians exist without men. leave us out of this and bring your point across +
in a different way, because this brings a bad light onto lesbians even if that‘s not what you intended to say.
4. using terms like sapphic or wlw/nblw when talking about lesbians
lesbian is not a dirty word and should be used when talking abt lesbian issues, because saying wlw/nblw or sapphic completely erases our individual identities, experiences and issues. lesbian isn‘t a slur.
lesbian is not a dirty word and should be used when talking abt lesbian issues, because saying wlw/nblw or sapphic completely erases our individual identities, experiences and issues. lesbian isn‘t a slur.
5. who‘s the man?
this is very obvious and has been brought up many times, but i still wanna include this. dont ever ask a lesbian couple (or any sapphic couple in this case) who the man in the relationship is. there is no man, that’s the point.
this is very obvious and has been brought up many times, but i still wanna include this. dont ever ask a lesbian couple (or any sapphic couple in this case) who the man in the relationship is. there is no man, that’s the point.
6. hey mamas jokes
this one is literally just making masc lesbians into a joke and reducing masc lesbians to their masculinity only. you‘re also forcing the stereotype of the typical homophobic/racist/transphobic high school chad onto lesbians.
this one is literally just making masc lesbians into a joke and reducing masc lesbians to their masculinity only. you‘re also forcing the stereotype of the typical homophobic/racist/transphobic high school chad onto lesbians.
7. saying lesbians are attracted to masculine women
saying that just because some fem lesbians are attracted to masc women we could also just date a man is extremely invalidating. stop reducing lesbians to their looks. we still like women, doesn‘t matter how masc presenting +
saying that just because some fem lesbians are attracted to masc women we could also just date a man is extremely invalidating. stop reducing lesbians to their looks. we still like women, doesn‘t matter how masc presenting +
they are.
8. saying nb lesbians or non she/her lesbians aren‘t valid
non-binary people are included in all sexualities so yes, non-binary people can still be lesbians, because non-binary isn‘t a third gender. furthermore pronouns don‘t (always) equal gender. they/them and he/him +
non-binary people are included in all sexualities so yes, non-binary people can still be lesbians, because non-binary isn‘t a third gender. furthermore pronouns don‘t (always) equal gender. they/them and he/him +
lesbians are still completely valid and not any less lesbian (this obviously doesn‘t count if you‘re a cis man who calls himself a he/him lesbian).
9. cottagecore lesbians
there‘s a lot wrong with this and a lot of people don‘t even realise it. first off, you‘re reducing lesbianism to an aesthetic. "cottagecore" is not a lesbian thing. moreover you‘re pushing the stereotype onto us, that we‘re all skinny white women with +
there‘s a lot wrong with this and a lot of people don‘t even realise it. first off, you‘re reducing lesbianism to an aesthetic. "cottagecore" is not a lesbian thing. moreover you‘re pushing the stereotype onto us, that we‘re all skinny white women with +
blonde hair and blue eyes, because thats the picture that is created when talking about cottagecore girls. this is extremely invalidating to lesbians of color and plus size lesbians.
10. shaming lesbians for stanning male celebs
while we are not sexually or romantically attracted to men, we can still find men physically attractive. that doesn‘t mean we wanna have any form of relationship with them.
while we are not sexually or romantically attracted to men, we can still find men physically attractive. that doesn‘t mean we wanna have any form of relationship with them.
11. saying lesbians can‘t crave male validation
male validation isn‘t about if you wanna fuck a dude, it‘s about wanting men to see you and validate you in your existence. it‘s rooted in misogyny and in the patriarchy and has nothing to do with actual attraction.
male validation isn‘t about if you wanna fuck a dude, it‘s about wanting men to see you and validate you in your existence. it‘s rooted in misogyny and in the patriarchy and has nothing to do with actual attraction.
12. saying lesbians who have dated/had sex with men before aren‘t valid
yes they are. stop invalidating lesbians who experience comphet or needed time to find their sexuality. EVERYONE needs time to figure out their sexuality. that doesn‘t count any less for lesbians.
yes they are. stop invalidating lesbians who experience comphet or needed time to find their sexuality. EVERYONE needs time to figure out their sexuality. that doesn‘t count any less for lesbians.
13. saying all lesbians hate men
again, you‘re reducing us to our connection with men. lesbians don‘t hate men, we‘re simply not sexually attracted to them. stop making all lesbian issues about men or dragging lesbians into men‘s issues.
again, you‘re reducing us to our connection with men. lesbians don‘t hate men, we‘re simply not sexually attracted to them. stop making all lesbian issues about men or dragging lesbians into men‘s issues.
14. toothpaste flag
the left flag was literally stolen from lesbians. it was just recolored and then used as the mlm flag. dont use it because its simply lesbian erasure. the one on the right is the new mlm flag from my knowledge.
the left flag was literally stolen from lesbians. it was just recolored and then used as the mlm flag. dont use it because its simply lesbian erasure. the one on the right is the new mlm flag from my knowledge.
15. old lesbian flag
the flag on the left was created by a transphobe and excludes trans lesbians. the one on the right is the new one, it‘s called "sunset lesbian flag" and is the correct one to use.
the flag on the left was created by a transphobe and excludes trans lesbians. the one on the right is the new one, it‘s called "sunset lesbian flag" and is the correct one to use.
16. shipping lesbian characters with male characters
do not erase lesbian characters, we already get such a small bit of representation in the media. don‘t ship lesbian characters with male characters since its straight up invalidating.
do not erase lesbian characters, we already get such a small bit of representation in the media. don‘t ship lesbian characters with male characters since its straight up invalidating.
17. calling men lesbian protectors
lesbians don‘t need men to "protect" them. AGAIN you‘re reducing us to men only. we don‘t want or need to be connected to men so stop it.
lesbians don‘t need men to "protect" them. AGAIN you‘re reducing us to men only. we don‘t want or need to be connected to men so stop it.
18. thinking bi/pan lesbians are valid
lesbian is not an umbrella term and you can‘t call yourself a bisexual lesbian or a pansexual lesbian just because you might have a preference for women. the correct umbrella terms are sapphic and wlw/nblw.
lesbian is not an umbrella term and you can‘t call yourself a bisexual lesbian or a pansexual lesbian just because you might have a preference for women. the correct umbrella terms are sapphic and wlw/nblw.
19. thinking lesbians are attracted to you
( slight tw // sexual assault)
if your first thought when someone comes out to you as lesbians is that you don‘t want them to like you romantically, thats just lesbophobia. furthermore don‘t just kiss lesbians or show them any of your +
( slight tw // sexual assault)
if your first thought when someone comes out to you as lesbians is that you don‘t want them to like you romantically, thats just lesbophobia. furthermore don‘t just kiss lesbians or show them any of your +
private parts just because we are attracted to women since that is sexual assault. you have to ask for consent, that counts for lesbians too (recently i‘ve been seeing a lot of lesbians share such stories on tiktok and i am disgusted by it).
20. invalidating lesbians
overall listen to lesbians when they say something is lesbophobic and don‘t brush it off as us being sensitive. lesbians are constantly extremely erased and we‘re valid in our feelings. also do not exlcude trans and nd lesbians as well as lesbians of +
overall listen to lesbians when they say something is lesbophobic and don‘t brush it off as us being sensitive. lesbians are constantly extremely erased and we‘re valid in our feelings. also do not exlcude trans and nd lesbians as well as lesbians of +
color. lesbians aren‘t just your stereotypical white girl!
feel free to add more in replies
note: of course lesbians are completely free to make any of the jokes here mentioned (hey mamas jokes, calling men lesbians etc)
another note! someone dmed me abt the mlm/gay flag and i just wanna put the link they sent me here! please take your time to read it too because not even i knew https://gayflagblog.tumblr.com/post/186181118619/gay-man-flag-russian-%D1%80%D0%BE%D1%81%D1%81%D0%B8-%D1%8F-portuguese
i‘ll be muting this now just a psa: everyone views slur discourse differently and as a white lesbian, when other black lesbians tell me to not use the d slur (which they have) i‘ll listen to them. i‘ve done my research and every source says something different, you won‘t find +
an answer that is 100% satisfying to you. and if you don‘t view lesbo as a slur thats fine! a lot of lesbians do, some dont. i don‘t really wanna open slur discourse here, either way both the d slur and lesbo just shouldn‘t be used by non lesbians.
