“Classy insults from literature”

1. “You speak an infinite deal of nothing”
~ William Shakespeare, The Merchant of Venice

2. “You are the last man in the world I could ever be prevailed upon to marry.”
~ Jane Austen, Pride And Prejudice

3. “Some people are easier to love when you don’t have to be around them.”
~ Irving Welsh, Trainspotting

4. “I misjudged you… You’re not a moron. You’re only a case of arrested development.”
~ Ernest Hemingway, The Sun Also Rises

5. “Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go”
~ Oscar Wilde

6. “I feel so miserable without you; it's almost, like having you here”
~ Stephen Bishop

7. “He is not only dull himself, he is the cause of dullness in others”
~ Samuel Johnson

8. “I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure”
~ Clarence Darrow

9. “He had delusions of adequacy”
~ Walter Kerr

10. “Why do you sit there, looking like an envelope without any address on it?”
~ Mark Twain

10. “And she’s got brains enough for two, which is the exact quantity the girl who marries you will need”
~ Sally Nicholas in The Adventures of Sally by P.G. Wodehouse.

11. “I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it”
~ Mark Twain

12. “They never open their mouths, without subtracting from the sum of human knowledge”
~ Thomas Brackett Reed

13. “He is simply a shiver, looking for a spine to run up”
~ Paul Keating

14. “He has all the virtues I dislike, and none of the vices I admire”
~ Winston Churchill

15. “The man is as useless as nipples on a breastplate.”
~ Cersei Lannister in A Feast For Crows by George R.R. Martin.

16. "The simplicity of your character makes you exquisitely incomprehensible to me."
~ Oscar Wilde, The Importance of Being Earnest

17. “The creatures outside looked from pig to man, and from man to pig, and from pig to man again; but already it was impossible to say which was which”
~ George Orwell- Animal Farm

18. “He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends”
~ Oscar Wilde

19. “I never saw anybody take so long to dress, and with such little result”
~ Algernon Moncrieff

20. “You talk to damn much and too damn much of it is about you”
~ Raymond Chandler

21. “He has never been known to use a word, that might send a reader to the dictionary”
~ William Faulkner

22. A dialogue between Winston Churchill and Lady Astor:

Aston said, "If you were my husband, I'd give you poison!"

Churchill replied, "If you were my wife, I'd take it."

23. Gladstone, a Member of Parliament, to Benjamin Disraeli:

"Sir, you will either die on the gallows, or of some unspeakable disease."

"That depends, sir", said Disraeli, "On whether I embrace your policies, or your mistress."

24. "I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend . . . if you have one."
~ George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill

"Cannot possibly attend first night; will attend second . . . ,
if there is one."
~ Winston Churchill, in response