In 2019, I had numerous dreams where my body is levitating and I'm about to fly but instead going "yay, I can fly." I grab on to the nearest thing to make sure I don't fly off.

2021, My interpretation of it is that I'm either inconsistent or fearful of success.

[Thread]

I've discovered that whenever I embark on a business venture or pursue a creative endeavour. I get extremely anxious then I dump the project.

Last night I went through old docs on my Google Drive, I found a book project I had cut mid way. I read through it and I was perplexed, I was impressed with myself. I was bewildered as to why I dumped the project. It's actually good.

Then I went through a couple business proposals I had written, brilliant stuff. Again I was perplexed as to why I dumped it.

I did some self-introspection. I realized it's due to my fear of success coupled with a fear of failure. Having being an individual who struggled with major depression most of his life, I avoid anything that can trigger going to back into that state.

So now I unearthed the problem. Time to come up with solutions. Once I've gathered enough weaponry to slay the beast. I'll update this thread. In hopes you'll benefit as much as I will.