Hey everyone! It's been rough, mentally and physically. I haven't drawn in 2 weeks now (does making 3D stuff count as drawing? lol) It's hard being unemployed and living off of your last bits of money. I'm hoping to manifest a good job that will help me with bills soon! Maybe!

I'm currently trying to make my portfolio better, and yes I have applied for tons of jobs, sadly it's hard and I never hear from people back... it's obviously difficult to find a job now because of the pandemic, or my extrovert ass would walk to every department and BEG

Honestly? It's been hard to feel optimistic about this.. I've talked to some amazing friends with great advice, and probably the only thing keeping me moving now is my ego lmao like I know I make cool stuff!! I gotta be hired someday!! please!!

Learning 3D has been a way for me to cope , it feels like learning how to draw all over again, and its been the only thing keeping me afloat. I wish OPT's given to international students during the pandemic was longer, like a year? You expect us to get full time jobs in a year??

For people who don't know me, I am a Malaysian student currently going through OPT in the United States, and my main source of income is gone now so I'm going through the waves! I've been trying my best, a little sad now I won't lie about that but I know it'll get better somehow!

Also, since I am on OPT I am legally not allowed to get jobs that are not art related, I wish I could work down at Walgreens while being unemployed but legally can't so, all I can do now is get commissions to live by, but its hard, especially when you're depressed from that

I love learning and I work really hard on the things I do! I've been so slow lately because I've been so sad and I wanted to share this into the world so maybe someone else who's sad can also feel maybe,.. less alone maybe? It's hard and it's okay to be sad sometimes.

I usually get work done really fast, but honestly how do you force yourself to reply to emails, and work when all you can think about is how you're unemployed, sad and depressed? It's hard but I'm forcing myself to slowly get to all the emails I've missed and haven't got back to.

I'm hoping to score a big job by the mid of this year, maybe!! If things don't go well around the end of this year, then I might have to go to other routes. One of them, was that I get my masters to teach! I really wanna teach aspiring artists how to dive into their potential!!

I think we need more POC people in schools, and more queer spaces too. I know that the art school is such a scam, and would rather have more diverse people to offer their insights and make art school better, especially with their resources. Idk, it's just me thinking out loud!!

I'll probably put out a work call post or something when I feel better! Hopefully, things will get better soon someway somehow. I pray that I can qrt this thread with a big "I GOT A JOB" and it's something I know I can enjoy! Manifesting this employed energy!! Ty for your time!