As I struggled to deal with the impact of COVID on my family members in India, I got delayed by a day for submitting my reviews for a conference & I got a message from a senior reviewer with the blurb below. My humble request to everyone - pls don't say this to anyone ever! [1/n]

I dont typically share any of my personal experiences on social media. But, I strongly felt that I need to make an exception this time. I am so incredibly hurt, appalled, flabbergasted, and dumbfounded by that blurb. It shows how academia can lack basic empathy! [2/n]

What bothers me is that I am an assistant professor at Harvard & I am decently known in my area of work. If someone can say this to me, I can't even imagine what they can say to a grad student. I am so sad this is the state of the research community that I am a part of! [3/n]

Women and people of color are already shying away from academia because of this kind of attitude. By exhibiting this kind of behavior, we are also sending a clear message to people who have health issues/care taking responsibilities that they are not fit for academia. [4/n]

For the first time in my life, I am ashamed to say that I am a part of this community/academia which has given tenured positions to people like these. My sincere apologies to all the junior researchers that you are having to deal with these kinds of advisors and mentors. [5/n]

Its time academia starts accounting for being a decent human as THE prerequisite for hiring someone. It seems like the only things that matter are papers/grants. Some people are not capable of being decent humans if there are no incentives which is sad to begin with. [6/n]

I want to take this opportunity to bring up another issue. Lot of grad students go through depression during their PhDs. At this point, it is almost treated like a rite of passage that everyone in grad school has to be depressed at some point and that is normal. NO! [7/n]

It is not normal for students/anyone in academia to get depressed. We should not normalize it. We should train professors to be better managers and mentors especially if they are supervising students. It is never normal to say this career is going to make you depressed. NO! [8/n]

I have been a silent spectator to several problems in academia so far. But, this incident was a tipping point for me. You can't tell me that I should experience the same level of grief/anxiety that other Indian area chairs in your esteemed ML conference are experiencing. [9/n]

That is just unacceptable, ridiculous, laughable, and inhumane, all at the same time. For everyone who is reading this thread, my only humble request to you is to not be this person ever. EVER! You will be doing a big service to the community by just doing that. [10/n]

Thank you everyone for the overwhelming support on this thread. It is so gratifying to see that several others find this behavior appalling and utterly insensitive. I sincerely request others (esp. students) to bring such incidents to the notice of public and conference chairs.

One last thing, I am not going to be apologetic about prioritizing the care of my parents who are 70+ years old over conference reviews/any other professional aspect. No one else should either! I hope I remain empathetic enough to make that same choice over and over again!