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Good morning, Austin. I just woke up to the sounds of my upstairs neighbors, um, getting to know each other in a biblical sense.
So this sent me down a rabbit hole of “euphemisms for sex”. I’ll be tweeting some of my favorites now....
Taking ol’ One-Eye to the optometrist
Taking ol’ One-Eye to the optometrist
Squat-jumping in the cucumber patch
Putting the wand in the chamber of secrets
Pressure-washing the quiver bone in the bitch wrinkle
Playing with the box the kid came in
Opening the gates of Mordor
Paddling up Coochie Creek
Pants-off dance-off
Oscillating the unmentionables
Playing peek-a-boo with your vein cane in the flesh pipe
Shooting the meat rocket into the sausage wallet
Taking Grandma to Applebee’s
Two-ball in the middle pocket
Rubbing wet spots (sorry)
Spelunking the slime cave
Taming the strange (this one is for my deep-thinking followers)
Slapping sloppies (again, I AM SORRY)
Violating the prime directive
Souring the kraut
Assault with a friendly weapon
Gland-to-gland combat
Making a magical sandwich
Shampooing the wookie
Testing the suspension
