me anytime i watch a true crime show: if i were a murderer i would simply have an airtight alibi and definitively dispose of the murder weapon and give no outward appearance of motive and basically be the perfect murderer.

to the FBI agent reading this: this is sooooo unlikely haha i'm so clumsy and forgetful and have a very difficult time concealing my emotions certainly i would botch any murder in the extremely unlikely event that i were to commit one.

many years ago my then-gf told me how she would murder me and then asked me how i would murder her and i was like, "i'm going to keep that one under wraps" and she got really mad like, "why wouldn't you tell me if you don't want to murder me?"

well not NOW obviously but if i ever did i'd be really mad at myself for revealing my plan and i'd have to dream up an entirely new one.

think for a minute geez.

i tried to make her less mad by giving her one of my b-grade ideas but it didn't help.

this is how i COULD murder you but it needs some workshopping to punch it up.