The dead cat routine by #BorisJohnson
When he swore on his life he wouldn’t ask for a Brexit extension (and then did) to distract you from the time he unlawfully shut down Parliament (after promising he wouldn’t) ti distract you from the time

When he kept trying to use public money to attack Labour in the election- to distract you from the time When he purged Churchill’s grandson from the Tories to shore up his base- to distract you from the time

When he was accused of a major conflict of interest (and lied his ass off about it for years and then Jennifer Arcuri published a picture of her in his kitchen. ) to distract you from the time

When be branded his £250k-a-year pocket money ‘chicken feed’ to distract you from the time When he took a £20,000 flight to avoid scrutiny on Heathrow Airport to distract you from the time When he refused to back our Ambassador to the US to distract you from the time

When he cosied up to a President he called ‘unfit to rule’ to distract you from the time When he branded Hillary Clinton a ‘sadistic mental health nurse’ to distract you from the time When he derailed a visit to the Middle East to distract you from the time

When he allegedly said ‘f*** the families’ of the 7/7 bombings to distract you from the time When he proclaimed ‘f*** business’
to distract you from the time

When he compared the EU to Adolf Hitler to distract you from the time When he called the French ‘turds’ who ‘shafted Britain’ to distract you from the time

When he enraged Italy with a threat about Prosecco to distract you from the time When he ‘made up’ a story about small Italian penises to distract you from the time

When he tried to dodge questions over using cocaine to distract you from the time When he claimed money probing child abuse was 'spaffed up a wall' to distract you from the time

When he said Africa needs its old Colonial powers to come back to distract you from the time When he insulted the entire country of Papua New Guinea
to distract you from the time

When he insulted the entire city of Liverpool to distract you from the time When he wrote a dirty limerick about Turkey’s President and a goat to distract you from the time

to distract you from the time When he boasted about whisky in a Sikh temple
to distract you from the time When he recited a colonial-era poem in Myanmar

to distract you from the time When he made a glib remark about ‘dead bodies' in Libya
to distract you from the time When he called gay men 'tank-topped bum boys' to distract you from the time

to distract you from the time

When we didn’t know how many children he has (and still don’t) to distract you from the time When he had a blazing row with his partner in her flat to distract you from the time When his expensive buses became a ‘saunas on wheels’

To distract you from the time When he wasted £300,000 on illegal water cannon To distract you from the time When he blew millions on his Garden Bridge ‘vanity project’ To distract you from the time When he repeatedly ignored conflict-of-interest rules

To distract you from the time When he said Turkey was joining the EU - then lied about it To distract you from the time When he propagated the £350m-a-week Brexit lie to distract you from the time When he used racist terms to describe Barack Obama

To distract you from the time When he mocked Muslim women as 'letterboxes' To distract you from the time When he called black people 'piccannies' To distract you from the time When he endangered a British mum jailed in Iran

To distract you from the time When he discussed having a journalist beaten up To distract you from the time When he was sacked for lying about an affair to Distract you from when he When he was sacked for making up a quote

To distract us from deaths, corruption failures on his watch. How many lives?