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The sacred triad of sustainable friendship or relationship:
1. You share the same core values.
2. You receive and communicate information in similar ways.
3. You can speak each other's love language.
1. You share the same core values.
2. You receive and communicate information in similar ways.
3. You can speak each other's love language.
If there's friction in any of these 3 areas, the relationship will need a good measure of sacrifice, counselling, hard work and stubborn committment. This assumes you even have the emotional, spiritual and physical energy to make things work.
Whenever I hear of how the older generation "sacrificed" in their relationships, I wonder about the following:
1. What had to die for the relationship to survive? (Sacrifice)
2. Who intervened? (Family? Pastor?)
1. What had to die for the relationship to survive? (Sacrifice)
2. Who intervened? (Family? Pastor?)
3. How much energy, health and well-being went into sustaining the relationship? (Hard work + commitment)
4. Where did they find the energy? (Religion? Cultural norms? Not having to deal with current energy sappers - tech, traffic, oppressive economy etc)? Presence of community support?)
Ultimately, my main wonder is around culture. Whenever cultural norms shift in any society, EVERYTHING fundamental shifts. EVERYTHING.
If you are a student of culture, you can predict where a society is headed. The data always moves in the direction of cultural shifts.
