ADHD vs autism, masking; a thread

i masked my ADHD for years. this included not letting myself fidget, trying to tone down how much i talk, sitting still, trying to show that i’m engaged in things etc and i know many people with ADHD do this too.

however, autistic masking is much more complex and is a severe trauma response to not fitting in socially. people with just ADHD have very similar communication styles to NTs and understanding of NT socialisation. autistic people don’t. autistic masking is not just

not having meltdowns in public, suppressing stims etc. it’s changing the way you express emotions to the point of not being able to recognise them in yourself. it’s changing your voice to the point of losing it at least once a month.

it’s changing your tone of voice to the point that you don’t ever express what you actually want to say. it’s making eye contact to the point that you can’t concentrate on the conversation and that you develop eye strain that causes migraines.

it’s fake laughing at jokes that you don’t get because no one has explained it to you to the point where you have never actually experienced a joke. it’s pretending you like socially acceptable things to the point of not knowing what you genuinely enjoy.

it’s changing your posture to the point of never ever being comfortable and not understanding the definition of comfort. it’s never expressing your needs because you don’t even know what your needs are because you’ve never been allowed to think of them. i could go on and on.

what i’m trying to say is, it’s losing yourself and it’s almost impossible to find yourself again. nothing that you’ve ever done is natural or based on instincts, it’s based on a trauma response. i find that with masking my ADHD, i can unmask it at any point.

i’m of course not saying any of this to make masking ADHD sound like it’s not hard. i’m saying this to spread awareness to those who think it might be something a little more that just ADHD. #ADHDautism #AutismAcceptanceMonth #ActuallyAutistic