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After hearing about Glinner losing his Dad, It made me think about how Iâve been since my Dad died last September
Although we didnât always get on we were very similar. Many of the things that drove me mad about him are character traits we shared; the ones that I try to ignore
He had an aggressive form of Parkinsonâs & I helped care for him, so I saw his decline up close, I witnessed his panic & fear
I canât believe my Dadâs dead. I canât seem to fully grasp that he isnât in the world, doing his daily walk to Sainsburyâs, in Summer in shorts & no top. I used to say, âno one wants to see your old man moobs Dad!â
He threatened to buy a T shirt from Staines market which said, âcover me in chocolate & throw me to the Lesbiansâ. I explained this still wouldnât work on most Lesbians, heâd laugh. He loved so much, to wind me up
I started buying him T Shirts with (acceptable) slogans on every birthday & Christmas. It became our thing. A cute little cartoon Cactus that said, Hug me! A bear riding a bike, pineapples...
I had no idea how much I loved him. I didnât realise how much a part of me he was until he died. The thing I realise is that when someone that close to you dies youâre changed forever; not necessarily a bad thing
Just now though, I feel very lonely. Disconnected from people even when Iâm with them. If it wasnât for my gorgeous hound I might have taken to my bed for months on end.
Dogs are so great! They force you out & into nature. Trees are arguably the most spiritual of things. Theyâre full of birds! I love a tree.
Still, people are tricky, my lifeâs work is about trying to balance my desire to be close to people with my equally strong desire to get as far away from them as possible!
The point of this thread, really, is to share & connect with some of my new friends here on Twitter. Iâd love to hear your experiences of losing your Dadâs or of grief generally
