After hearing about Glinner losing his Dad, It made me think about how I’ve been since my Dad died last September
Although we didn’t always get on we were very similar. Many of the things that drove me mad about him are character traits we shared; the ones that I try to ignore
He had an aggressive form of Parkinson’s & I helped care for him, so I saw his decline up close, I witnessed his panic & fear
I can’t believe my Dad’s dead. I can’t seem to fully grasp that he isn’t in the world, doing his daily walk to Sainsbury’s, in Summer in shorts & no top. I used to say, ‘no one wants to see your old man moobs Dad!’
He threatened to buy a T shirt from Staines market which said, ‘cover me in chocolate & throw me to the Lesbians’. I explained this still wouldn’t work on most Lesbians, he’d laugh. He loved so much, to wind me up
I started buying him T Shirts with (acceptable) slogans on every birthday & Christmas. It became our thing. A cute little cartoon Cactus that said, Hug me! A bear riding a bike, pineapples...
I had no idea how much I loved him. I didn’t realise how much a part of me he was until he died. The thing I realise is that when someone that close to you dies you’re changed forever; not necessarily a bad thing
Just now though, I feel very lonely. Disconnected from people even when I’m with them. If it wasn’t for my gorgeous hound I might have taken to my bed for months on end.
Dogs are so great! They force you out & into nature. Trees are arguably the most spiritual of things. They’re full of birds! I love a tree.
Still, people are tricky, my life’s work is about trying to balance my desire to be close to people with my equally strong desire to get as far away from them as possible!
The point of this thread, really, is to share & connect with some of my new friends here on Twitter. I’d love to hear your experiences of losing your Dad’s or of grief generally
You can follow @gladys3467.
Tip: mention @twtextapp on a Twitter thread with the keyword “unroll” to get a link to it.

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