Tw / mentions of rape + selfharm

I dont know if these were his intentions or not. I dont know if anyone would believe me but I’m going to say it anyways. I’ve only ever told 3 people about this is couple months back. There will be mentions of possible intentions of rape so tw !!

My most recent ex, Clay / Eclipse ( @/eclixsed ) had visted me a while back around January ? If I remember correctly. He had stayed for about two days. On the last day we had took a trip to San Francisco with his brother, his mom, my sister and my mom. It was a nice trip +

Other than the fact that I felt rlly sick the entire day. I had a sore throat as well as it was that week. So I was exhausted and just not rlly in the mood. We had gotten back pretty late. I would say probably after midnight ? By the time we had gotten back to my house +

My throat hurt a lot more and I was extremely exhausted from walking around for hours and being in constant pain from the cramps.

TW for up coming parts.

We had went to my room to cuddle for a bit. We were watching an anime but I was practically in and out of sleep +

so I don’t remember much. From what I can remember though was him trying to kiss or touch me, me saying no and obviously being half asleep and not feeling very well. I’m not sure if I had initiated it or not. I do know at some point I might’ve kissed back due to the fact +

that he wouldn’t stop trying to kiss me despite me practically saying no. My throat was in a lot of pain so I couldn’t verbally say no but I’m pretty sure I had made it very clear with shaking my head, and pushing them off, ect. I’m not 100% sure of his intentions that night. +

I’m not sure if he was intentionally trying to rape me or use me or not. I’m not sure when I’m tweeting this thread out but when I do please don’t send hate or anything. I know I cant control your decisions of cutting him off if youre friends, ect. But for the love of god +

Dont tell him to commit or sh, ect. If he sees this part, just know that I had felt extremely uncomfortable prior after and it was a big fact in our break up. I didn’t want to say anything at first because I refused to believe it. I didn’t want to think about the fact +

That you pushed yourself onto me or that you might’ve had intentions to rape me. My mom liked you quite a lot. You had been there for me when it was hard. We werent together long but you still made me happy up until that point. If you have intentions of apologizing, just know +

I don’t plan on accepting it. You admitted to not taking our relationship serious in the beginning of it which hurt quite a lot. It makes me question whether you said yes just to fuck me bc I lived close or so you could toy with my feelings. I admit I shouldn’t have tried +

To get you to do a poly relationship, but I am not the only one at fault for that. You told me and even suggested for you to date both me and someone else at the start of the relationship. You told me that you were 100% okay with poly. I should’ve asked prior to it. +

Thats my fault but you shouldn’t have lied to me or gotten in a relationship with me if you weren’t gonna take it serious. That being said this is my story. Some might think that shit doesn’t add up but just a reminder that I was in and out of sleep, as well as I felt very sick +

I was also exhausted from hours of walking around and dealing with cramps. If you believe me or not is your choice. I dont 100% know what his intentions were. Either way thank you for taking your time to read this all.