watching pjo wish me luck

we're 15 minutes in and I hate it there's so much wrong with it

I thought it was gonna be like funny type of bad but it's just really so bad and frustrating and inaccurate type of bad

THE FIRST CHAPTER TITLE "I ACCIDENTALLY VAPORIZE MY PRE-ALGEBRA TEACHER" IN THE MOVIE DODDS IS AN ENGLISH SUB AND ALSO DOES NOT GET VAPORIZED

CHIRON JUST GAVE PERCY RIPTIDE AND DIPPED

ALSO HE LIVES AT HOME AND IS NOT BOARDED AT BOARDING SCHOOL?!?!?!

CHIRON JUSY KNOWS HE'S POSEIDON'S SON RIGHT AWAY?!?!?!?

Annabeth's entire look is just not it

Where is Luke's scar

HAVE SEEN ABSOLUTELY NO CLARISSE

Also there's a gate for the camp and percy got there before the minotaur got a hold of his mom

Capture the Flag is Athena vs Hermes?? This is Clarisse erasure

Also it just starts off so bad, with Zeus knowing about Poseidon's son

This is turning into a PJO rant thread I'm sorry but I won't stop

It's just so upsetting

THEY JUST LET HIM TAKE THE FLAG HIM BEING PERCY THIS IS JUST ALL WRONG

WHERE ARE THE TABLES

BIG DEMON???? ATTACKING CAMP????

IT'S HADES????? THAT'S NOT WHAT HE LOOKS LIKE.

"I SENT THE MINOTAUR TO ABDUCT HER" NO YOU SENT THE MINOTAUR TO KILL PERCY AND RETRIEVE THE BOLT

LITERALLY NOBODY HAS MENTIONED THE PROPHECY AT ALL

Also these cabins are not cabins

Percy literally has no relationship with Luke at all because he never joined the Hermes cabin at all

It has not been brought up at all that Percy is not supposed to exist

Percy is just sneaking out there is no oracle at all

There is no pine tree

Absolutely no strawberry fields or Mr. D.
LUKE HAS A PS4 AND ALSO A BIG RGB COMPUTER?

LUKE KNOWS ABOUT THE PEARLS?!?!?! THE PEARLS THAT WERE A GIFT AND WERE ONLY SUPPOSED TO DO WHAT YOU DIRELY NEED?!?!?!

3 PEARLS IN THE USA THE FIRST ONE IS AT AUNTY M'S EMPORIUM

NO FURIES ON THE BUS

THERE'S PEOPLE IN THE EMPORIUM?!?!?!

okay at least they got uncle Ferdinand right

HAVE NOT HEARD AUNTY M TALK AT ALL

WHETE IS MEDUSA'S VEIL

THEY ARE LOOKING RIGHT AT HER SHE'S JUST WEARING SUNGLASSES THAT IS NOT HOW THIS WORKS

THE IPOD SCENE, no reflective glass ball at all which is what made percy so awkward at fighting her I'm psure

THEY FOUND A FULLY WORKING TRUCK TO HIT MEDUSA WITH

"HEY GUYS, IT'S COOL TO OPEN UP YOUR EYES" NO IT IS NOT

Also there are no orange shirts

what the fuck is medusa wearing on her wrist

oh it's the pearl that looks nothing like a pearl

Nashville parthenon?!?!?!?

Percy is just sitting at the bottom of a swimming pool

There is absolutely no poodle at all to help them get reward money to get across the country

Percy is not hydrophobic in the movies

Percy can just heal people with water now apparently??!?!?!

the gods apparently cannot have contact with their mortal children in the movies

Annabeth has no Yankees cap

They're in a motel

There is apparently no mist

The pearl is at the top of the Athena Parthenos replica in the Nashville parthenon

Annabeth is just dropping janitors like flies

THEY'RE JUST SKYPING LUKE?!?!? COMMUNICATION DEVICE HELLO?!?!?!?

Uh oh Janitors are back they're not actually janitors

THEY'RE A FUCKING HYDRA?!?!?!?
WHO SPITS FIRE??? NOT ACID???

Percy just slicing off heads left and right and also he does not fight a hydra till the second book

He finds out he can control water by the water fountain in the fucking Nashville parthenon there is no toilet bullying scene with clarisse

OH YEAH JUST USE MEDUSA'S HEAD TO TURN THE HYDRA TO STONE

PERSASSY DIDN'T EVEN SEND THE HEAD TO OLYMPUS

also riptide is a click pen not capped

Oh the third pearl is at the Lotus Casino of course

I'm assuming we're getting no stretchy man

The Lotus casino is on the strip and not just down a random street

They have not taken a train across the country

this is like an actual casino and not a kids entertainment center

oh yeah they have to eat food to get stuck here they're just getting high

OH YEAH THEY'RE JUST PLANNING ON STAYING HERE FOREVER AND LOSING SIGHT OF THE ENTIRE MISSION DESPITE THE FACT THAT THEY LITERALLY JST GO TO TAKE A BREAK IN THE BOOKS

OH YEAH AND POSEIDON CAN MENTALLY TALK TO PERCY WHICH TAKES AWAY ALL OF PERCY'S ACTUAL SMARTS

Oh yeah the pearl is the ball for the spinny red black green odds even games

Oh yeah just telling them about the flowers woke them up from their trance okay

They're stealing a sponsored Maserati

They casino left the keys in it and full of gas

Yep they're driving to Hollywood

No lion or zebra, no Ares

The portal is at the Hollywood sign, not at a record store

no stretchy guy, no ares

OKAY AT LEAST CHARON IS HERe

he's gonna try to slice through charon

Charon is not wearing an expensive Italian suit

They did not take a cab and use their lotus cards, they didn't even grab lotus cards

Charon just burned up actual money, which he would not have done in the books

Literally no Iris communication

NO RIVER STYX LIKE AT ALL

"All lives end in suffering and tragedy" NO FIELDS OF ASPHODEL, NO ELYSIUM IT'S JUST HELL DOWN HERE

Yep there's just two hellhounds no Cerberus and red squeaky ball

Persephone is just leading them to Hades? yeah and Persephone is here. during spring/summer solstice

No flying shoes leading grover to tartarus

The flying shoes have been nothing but helpful in this film which is bullshit

No grand throne room

Percy does not receive a backpack from ares containing the bolt. his backpack does not get progressively heavier as he gets closer to LA

The bolt was in a shield?!)!!) that percy just has?!?!?!

Oh yeah and Hades can just pick it up

OH APPARENTLY LUKE GAVE PERCY THE SHIELD AND SO NOW THWY JUST KNOW THAT LUKE DID IT RIGHT AWAY

No guards at all just hellhounds trying to get them into the fireplace

Hades and Persephone making out
Persephone steals the bolt and saves them

Yep and Percy can just handle the master bolt, no heavy metal casing or anything protecting it

Oh yeah and also they have to step on the pearl not just smash it at their feet

Grover is staying in the Underworld not Sally

Also they're just at the top of the empire state building, not above it and also they just magically transported there via pearls there was no fight with ares

Luke just flew in to the top of the Empire State buildingD

Does Luke have a second pair of flying shoes why is he flying?!?!?!

How is Zeus not seeing this

Luke wants his generation to take over, nothing mentioned of the Titans

okay now they're both using pairs of flying shoes cause yeah that happened

Luke is just destroying New York

Yep luke just cut off the wings of the magical flying shoes

Yep he's just controlling all of the water from the resevoirs on the tops of the buildings where he is fighting Luke on top of this building in New york

Knocked lukes shoes off

They've got 2 minutes now

OH OLYMPUS DOES HAVE AN ELEVATOR JUST NO 600TH FLOOR YOU JUST GO BEHIND THE BOOKCASE AND SLAM A BUTTON

There are so many stairs in Olympus not just a glass floor

Also all of the gods are here and there's 15 seats apparently

Poseidon looks hurt by Percy saying that he has no connection to him as if Poseidon didn't ditch him for 16 years (movie time cause he's obviously not 12)

Oh yeah Grover is still in the Underworld and percy is just asking for him back

This is not how Zeus acts at all in the books he is so much more diplomatic in the movies

Poseidon seems to actually care about Percy

PERCY WAS 7 MONTHS OLD WHEN POSEIDON LEFT?!?!?!? IN THE BOOKS HE WAS NOT EVEN BORN YET POSEIDON JUST FUCKED AND LEFT BASICALLY

"but I was always watching over you" bitch no you were not

Why is percy having a heart to heart with Poseidon

Oh handshake between father and son

back to camp with the HUGE FUCKING GATEWAY ENTRANCE

Back at camp

Grover just magically grew horns while in the Underworlx apparently

Apparently horns are something that is gifted to Junior Protectors when they actually become Protectors

Oh yeah percy disobeyed chiron's orders by leaving camp because he NEVER GOT A PROPHECY

Grover is also wearing leather

Percy and Annabeth looks like siblings and Annabeth is being very flirty?!?!?

No pit scorpions

tw: alcohol

I wish I brought more Trulys

OH THERE'S APOST CREDIT SCENE

sally changed the locks and gabe is still alive

Percy just stuck the head of medusa in the fridge and that's how they freeze gabe

Sally doesn't do it how is she going to get her artist money

okay finally credits

I'm sorry to anyone who reads this thread