Alcohol consumption has fallen 6.5% in the year that the government ended the sale of expensive alcohol in pubs and restaurants.

So, the government is going to implement a law that yields no extra tax but transfers millions of euro every month from poorer people to supermarkets.

How’s the vaccine rollout going?

- I’m afraid we’re three weeks to a month behind schedule, Taoiseach.

What are we going to do about it?

- We’re going to force Tesco to make an even bigger profit on every can of Dutch Gold.

Very successful lobby of the government by the, erm, people most likely to profit though. Fair play.

And the publicans, of course. Although they have slightly bigger problems now.