˗ˋˏ°• lines from datvd that remind me of a taylor swift song •°ˎˊ˗

“It didn’t surprise him that Julian had asked, but he still felt a shock of shame—not at the desire itself, but at the fact that Julian could see him.” https://open.spotify.com/track/2YWtcWi3a83pdEg3Gif4Pd?si=92eKaaedQRCo_p-PiE4qKg

“Paul felt an unwanted surge of fury toward him now for having the capacity to be fascinated—for the way Julian could look at the truth, even feel it, without it overwhelming him.” https://open.spotify.com/track/1GwMQaZz6Au3QLDbjbMdme?si=I4716hC9Tam0Xn6SIovEyA

(twitter is not making this easy for me)

“Instead he came for the boy who had tried in vain to comfort him, whose kiss at his forehead had felt like an uncertain imitation of something he’d only ever seen in the movies.” https://open.spotify.com/track/77sMIMlNaSURUAXq5coCxE?si=aRMw24ipR96LG7rkT3Fz7A

“I don’t think you’ve ever felt anything that didn’t hurt you,” Julian said. “We’ve found each other, out of everyone else in the world. Does that hurt, too?” https://open.spotify.com/track/6VsvKPJ4xjVNKpI8VVZ3SV?si=epZMnPVuRL-QpO4rBSmTwg

“There was an emptiness inside Paul that would take and never stop taking. He should never have believed that Julian couldn’t tell it was there.” https://open.spotify.com/track/6NFyWDv5CjfwuzoCkw47Xf?si=EipLAeGiSb64dm6O33ChSg

“I love you.” Julian spoke without looking at him. He was watching the ceiling fan slice uselessly through the thick air. “I really do. I wish you could tell.” https://open.spotify.com/track/0tQ9vBYpldCuikPsbgOVKA?si=KbiMcR0pQMWtnEuX9sriNA

“It was more natural for Julian to be loved than to love. If Julian were to love him, it would feel like something he deigned to do. It meant more to be needed.” https://open.spotify.com/track/4R2kfaDFhslZEMJqAFNpdd?si=853r-woxRyqbwgAsuW6WLw

“Once he knew the shape of someone else’s pain, he could break off a piece of it—claim it as his own, keep it as a memento under glass—and know they would be grateful to him for taking it away.” https://open.spotify.com/track/0ZNU020wNYvgW84iljPkPP?si=z8KRtR7fRDm8aOmwyIt9MA

“You’re okay.” Julian held him close and pressed a soft kiss to his hair. It was the first time all day he’d been calm. “You can trust me now. You’re safe, I’ll take care of you. I don’t need you to be brave.” https://open.spotify.com/track/0z9UVN8VBHJ9HdfYsOuuNf?si=h7WCUziOTg-dGzfWKNUsPg

“I love you.” Julian’s mouth was snow-soft against the side of his neck; he spoke nearly too quietly to be heard. “I mean it. Like crazy.” https://open.spotify.com/track/6MWoRt97mnSTXZhu3ggi9C?si=Q7U7Bo_jTuK3ANJeyYoqbA

(paul never said i loved you back and i thought whoever is reading this should be reminded of that)

“I love you,” said Julian—uneasy, distant, as if he were reminding himself. “By now you ought to be able to let me fucking tell you.” https://open.spotify.com/track/1BxfuPKGuaTgP7aM0Bbdwr?si=tlOWnXElQbS5cnhaLXQcLw

“He couldn’t stand to look at the truth, even now. All they were—all they had ever been—was a pair of sunflowers who each believed the other was the sun.” https://open.spotify.com/track/7MbT4I8qGntX4fMdqMQgke?si=g5fDd9vHTcCMgjWUlOqTMA

“It’s always been real for me, every second—anything else I’ve ever loved is so wrapped up in you now, you’re all that’s left. Promise you believe me, I’m so goddamn exhausted trying to convince you, I don’t know what else I can do to make you see it.” https://open.spotify.com/track/11UaQaEp2LvdspTyyuE3ur?si=A0Mx-RuoQWyi9VhRV2KRpQ

“I knew you’d find a way to spin this into me victimizing you,” said Julian coldly, “but you’re really outdoing yourself.” https://open.spotify.com/track/0ciHz919LVKoH4zgxyMPZ9?si=586zp0q0SHe4LQIJV8Cp1g

“I want to go far away, start over, pretend we can wake up from this. To stop hurting you, and to hurt you so badly the scars will never fade. Never to see you again. Never to see anything but you.” https://open.spotify.com/track/0VE4kBnHJUgtMf0dy6DRmW?si=_p__F44sSRWz8Tni-rXCYg

“We were going to start over, we were going to be all right, I was finally going to make you happy—I love you, I love you so much, I’ll do anything for you, please believe me, please give me a chance—” https://open.spotify.com/track/1q3RiD1tIWUpGsNFADMlvl?si=J2SlyfCFQxmIhVgeipz17g

“Paul leaned down and pressed his lips to Julian’s forehead. Julian made a strange sound, almost like a sob. For a long moment Paul held him there, still wanting only to breathe him in. Then he let go and allowed Julian to push him away.” https://open.spotify.com/track/106R7Z57WYzBAfrXImV30y?si=G5sWM62JTbu9O3SA45eBJw

“The sky was growing dark. He didn’t know what he was waiting for, but he waited. He knew it wouldn’t be long.” https://open.spotify.com/track/6Nde5KuTXyB7jlPO4upaBo?si=h9v6tfX_SiKPIoENiT3aFQ

“—it’s both of us together, it was always going to be both of us—it’s too late to start over, we can’t survive together, and it was me, I know it was, I’m so sorry—this is the only way we can fix it, it’s the only way we won’t ever have to be apart—” https://open.spotify.com/track/0sY6ZUTh4yoctD8VIXz339?si=GphN2gm5T9G596FQA9sqJg

“I would have done anything for you. I thought you’d finally trust me if you knew I’d kill for you, and it still isn’t enough, I don’t know why I thought it ever could be enough, nothing ever will be. And I’m never going to get it out of my head.” https://open.spotify.com/track/3oF7Or7T35yhQbGxbCGvRX?si=vjTFdmX8TUqE2fQ61_TXUg

“We can’t keep doing this. It will kill us if we keep doing this.” https://open.spotify.com/track/7HC7R2D8WjXVcUHJyEGjRs?si=nmHzxk4CQy2I6bIOltDSYg

“The opening move was circled in red.” https://open.spotify.com/track/7gdwoOmi258QJq0hmQ4hto?si=1xhJhWgnSwuKX7O2gZ7VDg

doing this made me happy. and i was screaming while reading and listening to the songs.

good night.