Thread by @dan_prismatic, Industry abuse isn't specific to Scott Rudin or Broadway elites. It happens [...]

Industry abuse isn't specific to Scott Rudin or Broadway elites. It happens quite often in small theatre companies where the co-artistic directors, who are best friends, are also the producers, are also the production mangers, are also the directors, and so on.

You know the type. Companies that hire you to stage manage a two month rehearsal process + two week run while compensating you a $400 stipend. The type that recruit early career artists new to the city, eager for connections, who don't always recognize the value of their work.

I SMed for one of these companies in my first few months in nyc. For the most part it was fun if a little too lax a process than I was used to (director giving unclear direction, constant breaks, incessantly tabling production discussions at meetings to "save everyone's time")

Those moments of unfocus snowball into large headaches come tech. I kept telling my director we needed to set certain moments of action that involved tech (lots of magical realism in this show) and my concerns were constantly dismissed. "We'll figure it out at later/at tech"

I soldiered on. After all this was my first gig as a freelance nyc artist! I had make a good impression despite my unease. I had to do my best work so they'd hire me again! So they'd tell all their colleagues about my work so I would keep getting hired!

Things got dicey once load in/tech started. All the concerns I broached had in fact become headaches—shocker! My director willfully refused to actually work through these moments w/ me and the scenic designer early on, costing us hours of tech rebuilding and re-blocking scenes

Guess who took all the heat? (hint: it me!) Suddenly it was my fault that we lost time, that things weren't figured out. I suspect my director's personal insecurities (which they constantly disclosed—dumped?—on me in rehearsals) were projected onto me once things got tough.

I was of course the only one to blame. Not the people actually in power. Me. I was the newcomer to this tight-knit community. The guy no one knew. The guy who was 23 and fresh out of undergrad with no one in the room to speak up for me when out of nowhere my director turned on me

It was like day 2 or 3 of tech when my director completely iced me out, refused to make eye contact with me, would only communicate via text or through third parties. That third party was typically the other co-artistic director (also co-producer, also bff of my director.)

For context, this production was in rep with another show directed by the aforementioned co-artistic director for an evening of two one acts back to back. Not only was I SMing my show, I was ASMing the other show w/ an overlapping rehearsal schedule so I never could watch a run

(don't get me started on the lack of organization from that SM. I remember trying to talk through prop/preshow checklists with them and being met with a scoff and dismissal, "okaaay looks like we work very differently" never actually receiving clarification on their show)

I was constantly met with refusal to clarify questions or concerns, so I had to make a lot of decisions in the dark without guidance or support. When handoffs were missed, props weren't set, etc, I was the one to blame.

"Daniel, why didn't you set x prop?!?!"
"How could you not know that this happens at that moment?!"
"Daniel, do you even KNOW what show you're backstage for?!"

I was constantly berated with attacks on my work, particularly by the co-artistic director, who I can only assume began targeting me to protect their best friend, my director. Every time they spoke to me they condescended and patronized me, stopping short of calling me an idiot.

One morning they pulled me aside to lectre me on how to SM/run a tech, as if I didn't just throw myself into college debt for a four year BFA program in stage management. But I stood there w/ a smile on my face bc even I started believing I was a bad SM ruining tech for everyone.

The worst part is that my collaborators saw how the directors treated me. 2 very kind designers checked in to see if I was doing okay after very intense moments of public degradation in front of the entire team. Yet no one publicly called out the abuse they witnessed.

"How are you doing Daniel?"
"I'm actually... not okay, I'm really stressed."
"Why?"
"Do you... do you see how [the directors] have been treating me this whole week?"
"¯\\_(ツ)_/¯"

The theatre industry has a culture of self-preservation, even in the smallest of spaces. No one wants to cross or upset the people in charge because they're worried about the currency of their name. Challenging people you disagree with may come at the cost of future opportunity.

Early career artists are overwhelmingly the ones who suffer because we believe we must. We believe there is a scarcity of jobs. When we finally get one, we swallow abuse because, if we play our cards right, this job will take us to the next where perhaps the people will be kinder

I called a colleague/mentor on a break during one excruciating tech day. I explained the sitch and he said, "Holy shit dude just leave the show."
"But I have an obligation to this show, my cast. I have a duty of care."

"Is the money good?"
"No, I would've made twice as much just working through this week."
"Are the connections going to take your career anywhere?"
"I don't really think so..."
"Then just leave!"

Dear reader, I wish I did.

The rest of tech/previews never got better. It wasn't until opening night when my contact with the directors would diminish did this abuse FINALLY let up. I remember receiving a plate of cookies, very nice thank you cards, and hugs from both directors.

I thought, "Well this doesn't track with the past week at all." Maybe I had been overly sensitive. Maybe I was writing false narratives in my head. Maybe this wasn't abuse and I just needed a thicker skin. I compartmentalized and shrugged it all off and went to do sound check.

We were running q lab off the co-artistic director's laptop. iMessage was open to the thread with my director. I wasn't trying to snoop I was literally trying to my job. I went to close out iMessage when I saw this text: "If [lighting designer] doesn't kill him I will"

I thought, well that can't possibly be about me, yeah? This text was from an hour or two ago, they literally both just gave me a hug and said thank you! Couldn't be me. But my curiosity got the better of me and I scrolled up just a bit, just to double check for my own sanity.

Spoiler, the text was about me. They had been shit talking me the entire tech process. All blaming me for scheduling mishaps, tech hiccups, et al that were quite literally 100% the responsibility of the the leaders of this company, which these two were.

I know I know, don't go snooping for something you don't want to find. But I kept giving two abusers the benefit of the doubt because, shit, this was the industry, and if that's how it works, well I better learn to forgive and move forward.

I should've skipped sound check, packed up my bags, and just left. Instead, I did my preshow checks, set my props, and finished out the run. Smiling and laughing with the team that abused me for a week then gaslight me to appease me when their shows were entirely in my hands.

And that's the gig when you're fresh out of school, new to a city, and are eager to put your degree to work! Not much more to add, this show gave me terrible stress acne that persisted for the next four months and made me hesitant to work for the next few months.

I don't share this story to center myself around the industry reckoning discourse. I truly was not physically harmed in any way.

Abuse can happen in any organization whose success is predicated on a power imbalance where those at the bottom feel beholden to the whims and moods of those up top. I don't know how to fix that, but I do know regardless of our status we must stay vigilant and protect one another

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