Taking the ego out of being a Dad has to be a very intentional decision. Recently I’ve been thinking about it a lot, and it came to a head last week when my oldest son told me he thinks soccer is his sport.

Seems so simple but it wasn’t. I know nothing about soccer.

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I coach HS (girls) basketball, and I have longer than my kids have been alive.

And I always thought, maybe even dreamed the oldest would follow the path behind me. I had built the fantasy in my head, planted the seeds.

Just was waiting for the harvest. My ego was attached.

So the first thing out of my mouth was, “As long as it comes after basketball.” I didn’t think anything of it, but, there was NO excitement after my response. I couldn’t shake that I had made the wrong decision, with the wrong response.

It sat with me for 2 days.

So I called him downstairs randomly and told him that I was sorry, and if he just wanted to play soccer then I’d be at every game and learn everything I could.

That was a week ago. This boy hasn’t stopped kicking the damn soccer balls since. It’s been non-stop.

It’s like he just needed permission from his Dad to dream his own dream.

I’m emotional just typing this thinking I almost stifled that.

I think too often we invest in our sons (specifically) athletic ability and it goes 1 of 2 ways.

1.) They like what we like, they’re good and we enjoy the experience. We bond over it.

2.) They don’t like what we like, so we detach from them... at least as an athlete. Generally referring to their disinterest as “lazy.”

I don’t think we consider what that does to black boys who grow up with slim pickings on places they can dream as is!

Long story short. Be intentional about loving your children in spite of their dreams deferring your vision of their life. Be intentional about checking your ego.