Thread by @ninx_nne, [ IMPORTANT THREAD - PLEASE READ ] hi, this is nin.i'm very [...]

[ IMPORTANT THREAD - PLEASE READ ]

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🍀" title="Vierblättriges Kleeblatt" aria-label="Emoji: Vierblättriges Kleeblatt"> hi, this is nin.

i& #39;m very sorry to say this— and this is a sudden decision— but i& #39;ll be holding off all Archives updates for now (both the PG and SPG ones), and i& #39;ll be resting this account for four months at the very least.

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🍀" title="Vierblättriges Kleeblatt" aria-label="Emoji: Vierblättriges Kleeblatt"> recent political events (recurring redtagging incidents on my own person, orgs i& #39;m on, and the university i& #39;m attending right now), various and worsening health issues, and academic committments are just some of the reasons why i& #39;m doing this.

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🍀" title="Vierblättriges Kleeblatt" aria-label="Emoji: Vierblättriges Kleeblatt"> the most recent setback which made me decide to do this occured just earlier, when i was doing acads.

browsing the pinned thread on my timeline, i had hated how the Archives flowed. i hated seeing my works— all works— including my art, all the fiction stories, and poetry.

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🍀" title="Vierblättriges Kleeblatt" aria-label="Emoji: Vierblättriges Kleeblatt"> this may sound so stupid, but every single thing keeps reminding me of someone i& #39;d rather forget.

of lies. sadness. and the never-ending hurt i& #39;ve been feeling for months now.

and as i tried to do one fucking academic infographic earlier, i decided i can& #39;t do this anymore.

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🍀" title="Vierblättriges Kleeblatt" aria-label="Emoji: Vierblättriges Kleeblatt"> i want to write and do art, i really do, but how can i do it when he& #39;s still stuck in my head?

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🍀" title="Vierblättriges Kleeblatt" aria-label="Emoji: Vierblättriges Kleeblatt"> yes, it sounds stupid, but this person really had influenced everything i am right now— from acads to art, music to love; heck, i& #39;m pretty sure everyone dubbed us as soulmates because of this and this is...

he& #39;s not my boyfriend.

he never was.

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🍀" title="Vierblättriges Kleeblatt" aria-label="Emoji: Vierblättriges Kleeblatt"> but he was the person that i really envisioned that i& #39;d spend the rest of my life with, and that& #39;s what makes this worse.

long story short, all three years of friendship (and love, if you can call it that) went to nothing a few weeks ago.

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🍀" title="Vierblättriges Kleeblatt" aria-label="Emoji: Vierblättriges Kleeblatt"> i don& #39;t want to make works that just reflect sadness and yearning, for fuck& #39;s sake. perhaps this is just a bad case of withdrawal symptoms and a natural occurrence, but i don& #39;t want to spread the hurt that i& #39;m feeling right now.

that& #39;s the worst thing i can ever do.

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🍀" title="Vierblättriges Kleeblatt" aria-label="Emoji: Vierblättriges Kleeblatt"> i also had to consider the fact that i& #39;m already exhibiting symptoms of acute leukemia since 2019. i don& #39;t know how bad it is since i haven& #39;t been to a check-up, but the hair falling, sleepiness, and bruises are already being too noticeable even on on-cam virtual classes.

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🍀" title="Vierblättriges Kleeblatt" aria-label="Emoji: Vierblättriges Kleeblatt"> hence the need to rest. it feels bad, as everything does, but we gotta do what we gotta do, right?

we have to heal ourselves in the beginning, because it& #39;s the first step to making sure that we& #39;ll be okay again.

granted, it& #39;ll be messy and painful, but yeah.

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🍀" title="Vierblättriges Kleeblatt" aria-label="Emoji: Vierblättriges Kleeblatt"> if you& #39;re a mutual that& #39;s interacted with me, even once, i know this is a sudden decision and you& #39;ll be worried, but i really have to do this on my own for now.

to my Archive readers, don& #39;t worry too much, okay? ≥160 days is just a short time.

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🍀" title="Vierblättriges Kleeblatt" aria-label="Emoji: Vierblättriges Kleeblatt"> ot5 nga nahihintay natin, e, bagong updates pa kaya? i& #39;ll make sure to give you a whole new collection when i return.

to my seaweeds, college mydays, and gwabity, if you& #39;ve read until this point— i& #39;m sorry if i only told you this now. hindi ko intensyon na mag-alala kayo.

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🍀" title="Vierblättriges Kleeblatt" aria-label="Emoji: Vierblättriges Kleeblatt"> lol, who am i kidding? i know you& #39;ll be worried sick naman talaga when the secret& #39;s out of the bag now. eek

if you& #39;re a kolek, it& #39;s one of the reasons why AKM never lets me out even on most uni-wide events. they& #39;re afraid of me being more sick than usual. xd

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🍀" title="Vierblättriges Kleeblatt" aria-label="Emoji: Vierblättriges Kleeblatt"> kaya kung ako sa inyo, do take care of your health! we have to see each other and go crazy over ot5 pa when this pandemic ends!

promise me you& #39;ll stay safe and healthy, yes? even if i& #39;m not around? because i& #39;ll get really mad if you won& #39;t!

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🍀" title="Vierblättriges Kleeblatt" aria-label="Emoji: Vierblättriges Kleeblatt"> to you reading this, if this thread somehow makes its way into your timeline:

know that you& #39;re special and significant, even at the times when you feel like you& #39;re not so worth it yourself.

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🍀" title="Vierblättriges Kleeblatt" aria-label="Emoji: Vierblättriges Kleeblatt"> i love you and i want to hug you, even if we& #39;ve not met personally. please know that someone out there loves you with all their heart, and you& #39;ll get to meet the people that& #39;ll love you more than you& #39;ll ever know someday.

in the right time. promise.

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🍀" title="Vierblättriges Kleeblatt" aria-label="Emoji: Vierblättriges Kleeblatt"> like how the night sky glitters with stars and how the sun rises every after the darkness in the east, things will be better and you& #39;ll be able to breathe again.

sure, this isn& #39;t paradise, but we do have our little pieces of heaven on earth that makes us smile, & #39;no?

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🍀" title="Vierblättriges Kleeblatt" aria-label="Emoji: Vierblättriges Kleeblatt"> to us, it& #39;s our music. to others, it is the connection of similarly beating hearts.

to fans, it is how we& #39;re bonded together and how we meet family through our idols. it& #39;s also in the memories we share and the tears that we all cried together.

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🍀" title="Vierblättriges Kleeblatt" aria-label="Emoji: Vierblättriges Kleeblatt"> i hope i get to meet you all when it& #39;s okay. when i& #39;m okay. where the sea finally sleeps for all of us.

i will always think of each and every one of you in the warmth of the setting sun and the calmness of the seas.

with hope,
ninianne

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