Thread by @merecchi13, I dont get the concept of love mail all i do in [...]

I dont get the concept of love mail all i do in enstars is projecting to the characters and what i mean by characters are //gestures to rei

What i mean by "projecting" is actually more of 'thinking very likely the same as the other' or you could call it as being 'relateable' as well

The thing is, the first time i /met/ sakuma rei is when i was in 2nd grade high school myself.

I was enrolled in a religious private school for the rest of my school life. When im with girl students 24/7, it was fun to think that you have someone you can relate to 'inside' a game at that time.

Not only 'close' in age, im also the oldest to my sis (and a bro, later on)

My 1 yr younger sis wasn't that much healthy in childhood. We both grow like a pseudo-twin (combined bday party, same set clothings). We fought a lot, but we joined at the hip at activities.

Rei's attitude of bugging ritsu, pouring love, protecting, is understandable in that.

Not only in the siblings aspect, being the oldest mean expectations.

And being smart of all things, is an insufferable weight on a child's shoulder.

It was a constant waves between being too excels in your peer and not being enough to jump to next grade. There was also

A hope from your all asian parents that the kid could become "someone" and excels /better/ in a way of a prodigy. Which is... Yeah.

"I was a honorable student before suddenly im just an (average) adult" kind of situation.

Rei's desroad story resonates so much later in life--

There's a Click of something put in place between the altruistic behavior, trusting someone (and having an ideal image of them in your head), of breaking the (ideal) bond, of pushing people away and aware of being vulnerable to not turning down "an offer to help others"

( we all know there's still a long way ahead of rei to actually say No to help someone, even if he /know/ he's not /obliged to/, let's put it down in the discussion next time )

Also not long after that Leo happened and.... Boy... The timing of him to my college-exam-prep-depression around 3rd year of hs /loud traumatic sigh/

Need to be added I DONT read enst at all in my HS time bcs i can't read jp and only understanding the voiced lines so

I don't put much lore in here (more like i mostly forgot the story already since i read the lore from smone enstaries TL in fb at the time)

Anyway i put the game on hiatus around memory of marionette and switch 1st event due to college (ewh) and depression (EWH)

BUT also i switched from reiP/sakumaP to valkP before hiatus with heart full of hope (damn that pink man beautiful af bro and he arts too /man/ and the heterochromic kid is chef kiss im /AWED/ at the steampunk theme??)

But ofc the chara i choose are all Angst by plot

Im back to enst again.. in my 3 or 4 semster of college? I missed like, 1-2 years worth of enst (due to broken phone also.)

I dont remember MaM introduction but i REMEMBER GETTING SHOCK ABT GOKIJIN

i still played valk tanabata, but hiatus again @ switch introduction i think

So when i go back, my jp reading still sucks, but i understand more spoken jp so i ABSORB all those stageplays (there's angels in rei and koga actors hail KOJI AND AKARYO) and songs (i cried when i knew WE HAVE SONGS--i only know i7 songs SINCE WHEN ENST A FULL FLEDGE IDOL GAME)

I started doing revivals (unde cafe bunkasai, desroad, etc) I ROLL MY 1ST UNDE BANNER (got all of them in one pull, magic. That was magic. I sobs at 6am at rei 4*, yes i roll at 6am shut)
I ranked at resort event for adonis 5*..my 1st lab assist paycheck goes there (lol)

And my love deepens to rei (who grows more and more as a WISER person from desroad to undead to /reconciliation gokijin/ to *squints eye* tenshouin eichi)

Undeniably we grew 5 years more than the time inside the game, so... The love of seeing him as a mentor/senior went to adore

Him as more equal person. Exactly like how rei grows himself inside the game when we (i) not looking. There are a lot more of me and depressing shit i project inside him (or any other chara like Leo--and Shu at times) BUT

The growth. Is the important part.

It is good to know that rei reconcile with his past and move on (or trying to)

(And Kaoru with his own too,in this case,bcs truly im cringed at his early development and Im so Glad he Grows too in his way)

It also felt good when i finally have money to spend on enst HAHAHA

And it was good year that i finally can DRAW THEM without feeling the GUILT of not being an "well/capable enough" of an artist to draw them (yes it is stupid)

It was good to saw Shu move on from bugging nazuna in MoM and Tanabata (finally reading the lore), and Natsume w/ switch

In element and opleiades (i think i did play natsume but i dont get the 4*-5* cards, so there's that)

It was good to have bridal card set (not even from banner in Kao's term)
It was fun to see ranking in bonfire and requiem (lol)
IT WAS FUN TO SEE ECCENTRIC GOT A SONG (rip)

It was fun to see Rei again in operetta... And to have his 5* for the first time--aside of revivals... (this btich 5* won't ever come from gacha banner)

It was fun to say goodbye to "!"

From not knowing anyone to play with as enstarrie
To a painful past and bloody path

It was fun to welcome "!!"

To new cards
To new visuals and effects
To new musics,
New characters
To new concept
To the future
To the friends i made along the way
To the friends that stopped playing back then
To the friends we kick into the same idol (hell) hole (HA)

To the love and the smiles from the past present and future

//end

Ps.
I was actually going to make comic "Of How I Meet You"
Aka me & how i see sakuma rei throughout the year

There's so much thing TO WRITE im 99.99% probably (definitely) got distracted while writint and the narration get weird...im... Apologize...

IM SHY
But i had fixed my mind to share this, ive obliged to response on Azu kindness of allowing me rambling this much *shakes in shame*
Kick me and i'll scoot over to my shameful grave aaaaauuugghuu

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