“Y’all need to stop dating cismen,” is like... the most useless thing to say to women struggling with being treated well in heterosexual relationships. First of all, all genders can be shitty. It doesn’t fix things to just swap genders.
Secondly, being attracted to cismen...

Isn’t something people can just shut on and off, unless they weren’t that attracted to cismen in the first place. There’s no button you can press that will prevent you from being attracted to them romantically and sexually, or platonically

And yes, compulsory heterosexuality is a thing. But there are also ciswomen who truly, even if the societal pressure didn’t exist, would most likely only be able to develop romantic and/or sexual attraction to men. What are you gonna do? Tell them to just... stop?

It’s also very victim-blamey, IMO. “You’re being treated badly? Well, that’s kinda your fault for doing what comes naturally to you.”

Also... even with bisexual ciswomen, it’s kind of a shitty thing to say. They can’t stop being attracted to cismen anymore than they can stop being attracted to other genders? That feels invalidating to me.

It would just be a lot better if y’all could direct that energy towards cismen instead of seeing women suffer and snickering at them and telling them they wouldn’t have these issues if they just could change core parts of their sexual/romantic attraction.

Also, yes... we should raise our standards. But a cisman can meet all or most of our standards, and still be devastatingly cruel. Because they have the power, and always will. There is nothing we can do to change that, and it will most likely come up at some point.

Y’all (somewhat) understand this with race, but not as much with gender. You accept that most relationships between a POC and a white person will have a power dynamic that will cause hurt and probably harm, but that negative energy usually gets directed at the white person.

Whereas with gender, y’all drag ciswomen through the Twitter streets when they’re being abused and harmed by men, and you laugh and chalk it up to them making the horrible choice to date cismen. It’s all very ridiculous to me.

I also want to point out that ciswomen with cismen also contribute to this, but without the exact same words. Y’all laugh at other women struggling and then talk about your perfect relationships and say “it’s all about knowing your worth/loving yourself/raising your standards.”

Most of y’all are liars. The men you’re with have or will eventually use their power in ways that will hurt you or harm you, but you’re out here pretending like you’ve discovered some secret formula to defanging the patriarchy in your own personal relationship.

You sound as ridiculous as someone in an interracial relationship claiming there is no war in Ba Sing Se. Of course there is. Shut up.