Twitter is where barley anyone who knows me follows me (since not a lot of people I know have Twitter accounts), so I often come here to open up about stuff I don't need many friends knowing about. But I just gotta let these feelings out.

But it just breaks my heart how she can have the biggest smile in the world yet still look so sad. For every joke, for every good moment, I can tell that she just doesn't feel she is good enough when she literally is the definition of good enough.

And I...I just wish my words could be good enough, but after everything she's been through I gotta let my actions be the sole proof that I care, because she's been lied to and betrayed far too damn much. And I want to believe my actions do prove that.

I like her for being who she is, not what I want her to be. I don't just like her because of her pros but because of her cons as well, because they're both a part of who she is and who she is AMAZING! Seriously man, like she's the fucking best.

Like even when she's called me out, or seemed disinterested in something I said or when I make a joke that doesn't land for her, I cherish that shit man. Because it's REAL and it's so unrealistic thinking every moment you share with someone is going to be perfect.

It can be embarrassing when it does happen, but the growth that comes from that is important and I just am thankful for every moment, rather it's a great one or not so great one, it's all been such a treasure and I just hope my actions can do justice to how much I appreciate her.

But I did fuck up recently, when it came to the moment where I could've just told her all of this, instead I lied, because I got scared and wasn't sure I was ready to be that vulnerable. I'm fine, but I can acknowledge that a huge mistake was made and now I'm not sure what's next

I've literally only ever been honest with her and I found myself lying at the worst possible moment, lying about how important and special I think she is. So that's why I'm just on here letting it all out because I be stupid and just needed to put words to these feelings.

I doubt anyone is even gonna waste their time reading this, but I only made these for myself as a means of venting. I'll probably delete it in the morning tbh. So enjoy this thread while you can.