time loop fic where bkg keeps repeating the day kr dies.

where he has to see his best friend die over and over because no matter what he does, he can't get it right.

time loop fic where bkg slowly goes insane, bc even when he /does/ manage to save kr, the day still repeats.

he starts out hopeful and fierce.

bkg on his first loop is an angry, determined bkg; shaken by what he saw, but more pissed than anything. and although bkg on his first loop fails, he makes his notes and his plans, and goes into the second loop with resilience.

but when loop three is a bust - when four and five and six and seveneightnineten all end with kr on the ground, with kr blank-eyed and still and /cold/ - that's when the determination bleeds into desperation. to panic. fear.

he doesn't know what he's doing wrong.

bkg gets reckless.

his meticulous plans are thrown out for paranoia. he follows kr everywhere, becomes a persistent shadow that hovers and holds, grip too tight, offering no answer when kr asks questions, when his gaze turns worried and confused.

and it's like this, for the first time in a dozen loops, that bakugou /finally/ manages to save kirishima.

maybe he takes the hit himself, maybe he explodes on a hair-trigger - regardless, he's exhilarated because he did it. he /did it./

who cares if he's getting dragged over the coals for his violence? if the public is seething and demanding he explain himself?

who cares if kirishima keeps asking him what's wrong with him, if he thinks bakugou's gone mad, if he argues and pleads and puts his head in his hands?

that loop, bakugou takes them home and locks them in, waiting eagerly for /tomorrow./

tomorrow doesn't arrive.

bakugou wakes up to another loop. he loses it.

bakugou on that loop is a vengeful thing. he's brimstone and damnation and grief and he's a villain tearing down city after city screaming why, why won't he live why won't he stay why why /why/ -

bakugou on that loop puts a hand to his head and ends it, because even this far gone, he won't make red riot put him down.

the next loop, he saves kirishima again. the day resets. he saves kirishima a third time. a fourth. fifthsixthseventheighthninthtenth - he saves kirishima a dozen or so times to make up for every time he didn't and more and then -

and then he gives up.

bakugou is tired. he's scraped raw. whenever he closes his eyes, he sees every derivation of kirishima's death.

he's selfish. he wants to rest.

the days blend together after that.

in some loops bakugou won't leave his bed. in others, he'll blow off work and responsibility, disappear to some empty field and lie there until he hears the faint sirens, that bad ending unraveling where he can't see.

sometimes he begs kirishima to stay home. he throws away his pride and feigns sickness; he ties kirishima down; he does anything and everything just to /keep/ him, and kirishima never, ever hates him for it.

he just asks, what's wrong, katsuki?

and sometimes bakugou tells him - but more often than not, he doesn't.

because the loops where kirishima knows about his impending death are somehow even more painful.

kirishima inspires hope, invites belief, he grabs bakugou's hand in his and dares bakugou to do better and -

he always manages to make bakugou /forget./

that it's impossible. that it's pointless.

but the worst thing about telling kirishima, is that if he dies, he always makes sure to tell bakugou one last thing.

/i love you./

bakugou hates hearing it.

eventually, he loses count of how many times he wakes to light through his curtains and a voice down the hall, telling him to come get his coffee.

of how many times he sees his best friend hunched over the sink, stuffing toast down his throat and scrolling on his phone.

he just knows that it hurts. that whether or not he's there to see it, to stop it, kirishima will lose that smile he's wearing, and bakugou - whether a mile away or right by his side - he will die with him.

bakugou /has/ been dying with him.

it's been a hundred loops.

bakugou no longer knows anything but loss and sorrow.

/////////////////

of course, this has to be a time loop fic where it ends happily though. where bakugou reaches inside himself one last time to find something that hasn't been numbed yet, a drive, a reason.

maybe he opens a yearbook, sees a sixteen year old eijirou and maybe he cries, silent and ashamed, because kirishima deserves everything, and that means he deserves bakugou's best.

he deserves bakugou doing this over and over, a hundred - a thousand - a million times.

even if it never ends, bakugou has to do this much, if it's for his best friend. he has to give it his all, every loop.

in a way, it's a kind of worship. kirishima deserves devotion.

and so maybe, in the next loop, bakugou is open and laid bare, does everything perfectly and justly, and at the end he tells kirishima he's glad they survived the day - and that he loves him.

because he doesn't want kirishima to go another day without knowing he's loved.

and kirishima blushes and stutters, because for him, this is unexpected and miraculous. but bakugou's been on the receiving end many times before, so he just smiles and takes kirishima home. feeds him dinner, watches a show on the couch with him -

says 'in the morning' when kirishima asks if they can talk about his confession. they go to bed.

bakugou thinks this much is fine; after all, he doesn't want to get what he wants, only to lose it in the next loop.

except, the next time he wakes, it's not to the sun -

- but to kirishima stalking through his bedroom door, in the middle of brushing his teeth, and asking - a little too eagerly, by the toothpaste that flies from his mouth - if they can have that talk now, please, katsuki, i was up all night -

- and bakugou bursts into tears.

/end

(i love the time loop trope so much bro . the catharsis of a happy ending after all that sadness and despair is just!! chef's kiss !! so tasty so satisfying. fix it fics too!! i love diy canon!!)