I fucking love small talk and I’m convinced that many (which means not all) people who don’t like it have grown to “hate” small talk because they see that position as intellectual somehow. But casual connections are valuable!! https://twitter.com/thewalrus/status/1385636776425914373

The other day I went to my favorite pre pandemic coffee shop for pick up and talked fo the owners for just a couple minutes about how they’re selling the store and buying a farm in PA and it was so lovely!!

Everything was kind and positive and connective. It wasn’t competitive or deep or emotional— all of which types of communication have their places. It was just like “fuck yeah farming is so cool, happy for you guys. I’ll miss this place.”

Also small talk is a great way to learn about ppl & things. Small talk is often what leads to people feeling safe doing “medium” or “big” talk in the future but also sometimes you literally just learn shit. E.g., the other day I found out that their specific EV had a 250mi range.

Ofc not everyone is great at small talk and it’s perfectly normal/fine to dislike it or feel awkward at it. But I do also think we coded small talk as a “female” and therefore lesser skill at some point. I used to “hate” it because I thought I was being cool. But it’s nice!

A couple people have specifically called out how small talk is easier for people who are neurotypical. I tried to include space for that in this thread with caveats, but I clearly didn’t do a good enough job. I apologize.