the real horror of zombies isn't that some kind of fungus/virus escapes a lab and makes everyone into ravenous murder messes

it's that a fungus/virus infects your dying body, keeping you alive to work menial jobs as more and more of you decays but you can't stop, you just watch

meanwhile we have endless discussions:

- are they still in there? I heard one beg for death but maybe they're just repeating what they said before? it's hard to tell, a lot of people beg for death nowadays, it's just part of western cultural decay

- is it really immoral if we can show that 87% of the brain tissue has been infected? but this other study suggests that we expose them to images of loved ones, some of them start crying. but the p value isn't that great? was the brain tissue study funded by big zombie?

- silicon valley disrupting the market once again by augmenting self driving cars with a zombie brain and sensory organs. we had to remove anything else or they'd softly plead to just let them go. but at least we know who you blame during accidents now, so the ethics is solved!

- what do you mean nestle "accidentally" infected half of their products with the virus and now all of their new plants in cambodia are run by zombies? you can't prove that. okay we'll pay a fine and fire our CEO, with a nice big golden parachute. the plants stay open tho

- btw, we made keeping zombie relatives and friends illegal. newly formed ZAP (zombie assistance & protection) will be responsible for rounding them up. it's for the best, we don't know what danger they pose but here's a video of one going wild. nevermind they still seem normal