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Let’s talk consent.
Today my daughter was wanting to play math questions with my son in the car. He repeatedly told her “no, I don’t want to.”
She said things like, “but you promised” and “you said you would yesterday”.
My heart stuttered. This is it.
Today my daughter was wanting to play math questions with my son in the car. He repeatedly told her “no, I don’t want to.”
She said things like, “but you promised” and “you said you would yesterday”.
My heart stuttered. This is it.
What a natural moment to discuss consent with both of my young people.
I paused the conversation and asked my girl what her brother was saying. She got upset and told me that he’s saying no, but he said yes before and it’s not fair.
I paused the conversation and asked my girl what her brother was saying. She got upset and told me that he’s saying no, but he said yes before and it’s not fair.
I told her I understand how it can feel that way but he has a right to say no and that she needs to respect it.
From there our conversation naturally flowed into hugging, kissing and yes even the *dreaded* sex talk.
We discussed how we all have rights to our bodies.
From there our conversation naturally flowed into hugging, kissing and yes even the *dreaded* sex talk.
We discussed how we all have rights to our bodies.
Sometimes our bodies scream YESSSS and then in the middle of screaming yes they say Nooooooooo. Sometimes it goes back and forth. Sometimes it starts with a no and stays there. Sometimes it starts with a no and turns to a yes.
We talked about what it feels like in our body when something feels like a yes. We talked about what it feels like as a no. They both had different answers - because they are different people. But I told them it’s important to listen to their body.
At the end my daughter apologized for pushing my son out of his comfort zone and trying to force him to do something he didn’t want to do.
No this wasn’t sexual. And consent doesn’t always have to be sexual.
No this wasn’t sexual. And consent doesn’t always have to be sexual.
If we imbed these moments and conversations into our kids’ daily lives when they naturally occur, then it makes talking about it easier. It makes their reactions second nature.
This entire conversation lasted less than 5 minutes.
This entire conversation lasted less than 5 minutes.
I didn’t drag it out. I didn’t bring up things they were uncomfortable talking about (age appropriate). I answer questions honestly. We were real about it.
Consent matters. Even when someone says they wanted to play math questions yesterday, and now today they don’t want to.
Consent matters. Even when someone says they wanted to play math questions yesterday, and now today they don’t want to.
