I want to talk about my history with Mortal Kombat

We were pooooor and I did not have a console but even as a kid I hated being absolute shit at something. So I walked to the closest Walgreens stood there with some gamer magazine and memorized all of Sindel's moves. Only Sindel

and when we played "Mortal Kombat" at the pool, which was really us just throwing each other into the pool, I would honest to god hair whip people.

Guys, I thought she was so fucking beautiful. She still is but she definitely looks better with improved graphics lol.

Between She-Ra and Sindel I'm still on my quest for absolutely rad thigh-high boots but it will never happen because I cant even get boots that zip up around my huge fucking calves.

ANY WAYS MY MOM FOUND OUT I WAS *GASP* PLAYING VIOLENT VIDEO GAMES

I got so grounded, even as I begged with tears in my eyes promising to shut off the gore effects

That was a real no-go

She even called Nellie, my friends mom, and was all you know Becky cant play violent video games. I have no doubt Nellie was chainsmoking and eye rolling.

Now, this is partially because I threw a toy at another kid (he was bullying me!) and he needed like 10 stitches and my mom was convinced that it gave me a lust for blood and video games would only exacerbate that.

Hell, I enlisted in the Army before I saw an R rated movie. HA

Any ways between the age of 10 and 19 when I think I *finally* saw the movie my only interaction with Mortal Kombat was hearing the song play twice during every single laser tag game anyone has ever played ever.

For someone that never played the game and still doesn't because my hands do not know how controllers work, I am laughably bad- I've read the Wikipedia pages of SO MANY OF THE CHARACTERS

I looooooove a good space opera fake history that revolves largely around a death match

So its a pretty boring history, but fuck if I'm not stupidly excited for the movie tonight

Will be wine drunk and might text mom I'm watching it

Love the cheese and thighs of the first movie and I'm excited for the cheese and thighs in this movie. And of course, my fucking man

The real moral here is you are never too old to enjoy things. Maybe you didn't get to do what you wanted as a kid, but you can now. No one gets to tell me anymore what I can or cant enjoy and what spaces I should or shouldn't be in. I make that call

Tonight I shall be gleeful!