“why don’t gifted kids ever shut up about being gifted?” well, i’ll tell you: thread

first, what is giftedness? while most people don’t realize this, it’s actually considered a type of neurodiversity. giftedness isn’t synonymous with conventional intelligence; we experience different cognition and mental development.

because giftedness is typically evaluated in childhood, it’s usually defined by percentile scores on tests such as the WISC. the 90th+ percentile is considered gifted, but there are many different levels (95th+, 98th+, 99.9th+). they are all experienced very differently.

the biggest misconception about us is that gifted = smart. that’s not necessarily true. our neurodiversity helps us approach certain topics in unique ways, but we’re usually not the stereotypical well-rounded straight-A student.

this misconception is really harmful for gifted students. parents and teachers alike assume that we will automatically do well in school and don’t need any help or guidance. in reality, we often need way more educational support than “average” students.

our peers often believe this as well and think it’s annoying when we express our problems in school. they assume we inherently have it easier than them, and that school is a breeze for us. again, not true.

for a little bit, we’re fine. we can excel in elementary and even middle school with little-to-no effort. but eventually when school gets hard, we often struggle significantly because we failed to learn educational habits (like studying) that our peers already developed.

plus, because our brains work differently, we don’t learn in the same way our peers do. the structure and pace of traditional classes can make it way harder for us to learn. we do better when we can control the pace we work at and how we learn (e.g. auditory vs. visual material)

high school is usually where the “gifted kid burnout” hits. school itself is harder, completing work is harder, there’s way more homework than before, classes are more structured. we don’t know how to cope. combined, this leads to mental fatigue, self-doubt, + a sense of failure.

our teachers and parents don’t understand why this happens. they blame us, instead of recognizing the circumstances that led to it. our giftedness is viewed as a positive, as an advantage, as a GIFT. we’re not supposed to complain about it. we’re not supposed to struggle.

this misconception also hurts us in other ways. from a young age, we internalize the belief that we are smarter and more special than everyone else. this leads to high egoism, lower empathy, and other social deficits. it can make us really annoying and inconsiderate.

please understand that this was something placed onto us by the adults in our lives when we were young children. it takes time to unlearn, especially when many of us also experience other social and emotional issues (such as low EQ) due to being gifted.

this leads to difficulty making friends as well as issues with authority. we often find ourselves singled out as weird kids. we don’t always get the jokes, or have the same interests as others, especially at a young age. we miss out on a lot of social and emotional development.

to complicate matters, there is a high degree of overlap between giftedness and other types of neurodivergence like adhd and autism. people who are both gifted and neurodiverse in another way are referred to as twice exceptional (2e).

for 2e people, one type of neurodivergence can often mask the other. many gifted kids struggle with a disorder that’s never diagnosed because they’re “too smart” or “just being lazy”. conversely, some people are never recognized as gifted because their disorder masks it.

even when someone isn’t 2e, giftedness can often be mistaken for another disorder, leading to misdiagnosis and harmful medicalization. this is much more common for black/brown students due to systemic racism in medical and educational systems.

speaking of racism, it’s important to mention that not all gifted people are part of gifted programs. many black/brown gifted kids are never recommended for these programs due to racism among educators.

because of the bias that goes into gifted programs, there are many valid critiques that they are racist and used as a modern form of segregation. this is especially true of private/charter schools that cater to gifted students.

however, this doesn’t invalidate the fact that ALL gifted students DO need additional educational support tailored to their needs. the vast majority of us don’t get this, even if we’re in traditional gifted programs.

as children, we’re placed on a pedestal in a system that doesn’t support us, making failure inevitable. we’re then criticized by the same people who placed these expectations on us- of course we’re upset about it.

because giftedness is a type of neurodiversity, many of us feel that it’s an integral part of our identity. it affects the way we view the world, the way we experience education, the way we build friendships and socialize, and many other life experiences.

so few of us get the support and understanding we need from our parents and teachers. it’s significantly worse for those who are black/brown or 2e. the gifted experience can rarely be separated from racism and ableism.

the reason we keep talking about being gifted is because NOBODY GETS IT. people think we’re privileged, we have it easier, we’re smarter, and that we don’t have a right to complain. in reality, we experience genuine struggles that need to be addressed.

obviously, there are other issues in the education system that are more pervasive and take precedence (racism, ableism, classism, misogyny, etc). but the lack of support for gifted kids is still an issue and it’s perfectly valid for us to express our experiences.

end of thread