Ah the daily “all gays care about is casual sex. I want a relationship unlike the rest of you heathens” ... you aren’t special for wanting a monogamous relationship. I see this “hot take” more times than I can count. Don’t blame others’ consensual decisions for you being single.

This isn’t meant to be 100% catty. Part of dating, gay or straight, is finding compatibilities. If you and someone are looking for different things from a relationship, that isn’t the other person’s fault. They are allowed to want what they want just as you are.

If so many want a monogamous relationship, why don’t you date each other? The response will be “just because we want the same thing doesn’t mean we are compatible.” Yes, & someone not wanting to date seriously or be monogamous is just a compatibility, it’s not on a different tier

When dating, it’s important to be upfront about what you want so you don’t waste your time or get too invested. If they don’t want the same thing, it’s just part of dating! Sorry if it happens, but there’s nothing morally wrong with the person wanting something different than you

I’m someone in an open relationship who doesn’t like casual sex/random hook-ups. This has led me to turning down people on both sides, who either just want to fuck or want monogamy. I wasn’t mad. They want what they want and I wanted something different. Simple as that.

And as someone who has been coerced into monogamous relationships, I felt as if I was giving up part of myself to keep someone around, and in the end it made me unhappy because I wasn’t being authentic, so like don’t play the victim for wanting monogamy. It can go both ways.

It’s frustrating gay guys resort to slut shaming & incel behavior because they are single. You can’t make others want what you want. Shaming a community/person into doing what you want won’t make someone love you.