Being a blind student is seeing that the icebreaker activities are inaccessible but not having the energy to challenge it because I already have to fight for access to academic content. So I end up just accepting that I won't be able to participate.

It's going to be really fun when we get to my turn in the online class and I have to out myself as blind to explain why I can't participate though

Please design accessible activities so disabled students don't have to publicly disclose, sit out, or use their minimal energy emailing you to ask you to change the activity.

Here's the thing about access. I fundamentally believe that most people are decent. I've come across very few individuals who deliberately exclude disabled people. It happens, but I don't think they are the majority.

Most people don't even think about us. Or they forget. Or they don't know about access. It can be an education issue. And I don't necessarily blame them either.

Also, when I ask for access, the vast majority of people are willing to give me access, if they have the resources to do so, but resources can be another issue. The thing is, I have to ask in the first place.

Last semester, I couldn't read any of the presentations for one of my classes. They were uploaded to the VLE a week in advance, but they were all image-based PDFs. I had to run them through OCR software and make do with a crappy version.

Could I have emailed for an accessible copy? I could, and I'm entitled to one. I could have also downloaded them and emailed them to the transcription department each week who would have put them in an accessible format for me.

But I just couldn't. I couldn't make my brain write another email begging for access and starting *another* process. I just couldn't face doing it. So maybe it's my fault then. I feel like I don't have the right to feel empty or sad or frustrated.

There are processes in place to grant disabled students access, but those processes all rely on disabled students doing work that other students never have to do. Universities pat themselves on the back for having these processes, but they forget what it takes from us.

We have to ask, often repeatedly. We have to fill in forms, or get textbooks months in advance, or email at the start of the semester for all of the presentations so that we can then send them to someone who can transcribe them for us in time for the class.

And that assumes the lecturer has even prepared the presentations months in advance, they might not have, which I completely understand. So then, I get them a week before the class, but by the time I get them back in a format I can read, the class is over.

So I give up. I rely on my brain, on my ability to bullshit my way through another degree. But the truth is I'm barely keeping up and hanging on. I never intended for this to be a thread but I guess I had a lot on my mind that I needed to get out.