wait.

Y'ALL.

my mother is still feeling awful, so she's in bed. but she's super pressed about all the stuff she normally gets done.

and they have this neighbor, let's call her Elaine, who is wildly religious and does all this charity work. the woman is REALLY friendly, but in a very uncomfortable way. and all of her charity work surrounds Black ppl...and this super annoys me....

since she's a trumper.

but my mom reasons that the causes are good, whatever the woman's motivations....so she gives money whenever Elaine solicits for the organizations.

so my mom was super anxious to get a check to her.

but also kind of out of it.

so she wanted me to give her the check, lol....but couldn't get it together to tell me where Elaine lived.

Mom: go out of the neighborhood. it's going to be in the last cul de sac on the left. You know John?
Me: no.
Mom: he has the ugly purple flowers.

Me: I don't know John.
Mom: her house is three houses to the left of John's.
Me: what does her house look like?
Mom: it's ugly.
Mom: *passes out*

So on attempt one, i drove almost all the way out of the neighborhood, to the last cul de sac on the left, and saw a big house with purple-ish flowers all around.

I counted 3 doors down, and went to that house and rang the bell.

No one answered.
I rang again.

No answer.

But I'm still not even sure that this is Elaine's house. So I go to the house I've identified as John's. There are two cars in the drive, so I ring the bell.

No answer.

I wait again.

No answer.

I drive back home where my dad is cutting the lawn. I ask him where Elaine's house is. He laughs and says he doesn't know. I describe the house I'd identified as John's and ask if it is indeed John's house. My dad confirms that it is.

So I go BACK to John's house...

And ring the bell again.

No answer.

I look drive around and get as close as I can to the other houses to see how they're adorned.

There's a house to the LEFT of the one I'd previously thought was Elaine's house and it has a "Bless this house" sign and a crucifix on the brick.

Jackpot.

I go to THAT house, ring the bell, and when no one answers, I shove the envelope in the doorframe.

Just went to my folks' room to take my mom some water.

My dad asked how many times I went to John's house yesterday.

I told him two.

I told him I rang the bell over and over, and that there were cars in the drive, but no one answered.

My mother took a huge sip of the water I'd just brought, laid back down, and said-

"He's dead."

He was inside....
but...

you know.