For many many years of my journalism career I thought there were big mountains to climb. I was hungry for bigger bylines, more meaningful stories. I got them. I wanted more money. I got that too. Then I realized how much I worked and how much my identity was wrapped up...

... in the work I produced.

And over the last year I just... got tired. Probably due to the pandemic and it cramping my style in doing the field & international reporting that I want.

But it’s led me to really rethink my relationship to work, and for the better

I am always going to care about the work I do, and working with good people. Maybe that’s enough for me. But working hard/ pushing myself constantly is my own doing, and it’s tiring. I’m working on refilling my cup, recharging for the next big thing

Realizing I didn’t want to be tired all the time was HUGE. On a business level it means securing my base income, no longer panicking about where my need-to-live money is coming from. That means I can pitch more intentionally, and even resent the pitching process less.

The other huge revelation I had recently is that writing is great and earns me money but I don’t feel in my hardest of hearts that I’m a writer. That’s very permission giving so I can go out and do other stuff. I’m a reluctant writer, more so a vessel for information

Basically what I’m saying is we often put a lot of pressures on ourselves for work - esp as freelancers and esp for writers that we often forget to look big picture. What’s our emotional bandwidth like? What’s our relationship to work?

Do we want to live to work, or do we want our work to enable us to live the life we want?

I see freelancers on here talking about their hustle and in a way, glorifying it.

There’s nothing glorious of being overworked & burned out.

With that, it’s normalized and foisted burnout onto others. That’s not healthy.

So here’s your reminder that you can opt out