still not asleep srry i keep lying abt when im gonna sleep lol i just... want to say smth
i think the reason why ive been so especially fucked up lately is cus of the surgery. my body is going through a lot of trauma esp cus of the blood clot that's causing me pain

another thing is... all my time at home means more time to think, more time to think plus being someone who gets lost in his head easily is a recipe for disaster... i feel like i should be taking more time off twitter... i keep either getting close to or straight up lashing out

i don't want to mess up, i don't want to spiral & post abt my feelings as if that'll help with anything, ik it doesn't help to make all of you aware.. it encourages even more negative feelings doesn't it? do i mean it when i say im gonna keep most of it to myself

i might still let myself complain abt more lighthearted things if you can call it that? or more minor things idk... but i def want to keep posting to more of a minimum now, it rlly is best for me to take more time to myself, yknow? so yeah that's all i wanna say in this thread :p