Today I need: words from NI which are not swears but which denote 'd*ckhead' as strongly as possible. 'Eejit' is a bit too light. I'm thinking more like 'glipe'. Anything which isn't a swear (and obv I'm not interested in racist terms or anything else that targets minorities).

Someone needs to write a swearword scale with 'definitely sweary' at one end and 'not even a swear, wise up' at the other. Thanks for all the suggestions- excellent choices!

OK I have enough non-sweary insults now. Thank you all very much! Some of you are real sickos. Glad to know you.

Don't think I've ever had as many replies to a tweet and I've laughed my leg off, thank you!