Hello @tvlicensing I've just received your latest empty threat-o-gram and I've ignored it as I usually do.

For the record I do own a television, I do watch programs and films but I have no intention whatsoever of buying a licence and there's nothing you idiots can do about it.

However I am disappointed. Your previous letters have told me I am under investigation and that I will receive a visit from one of your low-IQ mouth breathing 'Enforcement Officers'.

I wish they'd hurry up, I will enjoy humiliating them for my own entertainment. Again.

For those of you unfamiliar with the legal powers of @tvlicensing 'Enforcement Officers' to enter your home, demand your name or interview you under caution: they have none.

They have no more legal powers than a passing paedophile and they are just about as welcome.

If they ever visit *never* engage with them in any way, never answer their questions or offer any personal information whatsoever.

Order them to immediately leave your property. Record them if you wish, they have no right to privacy in a public place or on your property.

In the unlikely event they have a warrant, they will most likely be accompanied by police who are there *only* to ensure the warrant is enforced and not to assist in their 'investigation'. Comply only as far as the warrant demands. Take your time to read it carefully.

FYI, whilst both you and the 'Enforcement Officers' are *inside* your dwelling, the Public Order Act does not apply. Therefore it is not a crime to use foul and abusive language directed towards them. Call them whatever you like, there's absolutely nothing they can do about it.

In conclusion: I've written below the line contrary to @tvlicensing explicit instructions not to. Oh well.