Flying to LAX for the #Oscars more difficult than most years, largely because we have to be smuggled as cargo.

Donne and Jonson a bit put out. Marlowe acts as if he's done this before.

#ShakesLA

Flying to Los Angeles in a packing crate is not ideal, but it beats staying under a Warwickshire church for the week-end.
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Clambering out into the cargo area at LAX. Donne hath arranged a car. We put Jonson’s alligator in the boot with our baggage.

Jonson’s baboon leaves in its own Uber. Apparently it hath a development-executive gig with Paramount.
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If thou art visiting LA but, for public health reasons, only interacting with ghosts, the Chateau Marmont is kind of perfect.

Also, there’s a pool for the alligator Jonson brought.
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One man floating face-down in a pool on Sunset is a Billy Wilder homage. Four dead men floating face-down is a call to emergency services.
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Need to limit ourselves to visits with Hollywood ghosts this visit. Invited Paddy Chayefsky to tea by the Marmont’ s pool. Donne’s invited Tracy & Hepburn, Jonson William Goldman. Marlowe robbing Chico Marx blind at cards.
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Chayefsky asks me how I kept creative control. I tell him that the main thing is to buy the building. Then just hope it doesn’t burn down.
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Time to order out for sandwiches. Marlowe’s on the phone: “Greenblatt’s Deli? Who wants to speak with the dead?”
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Chico is out of money and hath called his brother Zeppo to bring more. William Goldman is prank-calling Paul Newman in silly voices. And John Belushi hath come out of his bungalow to wrestle Jonson’s alligator. The party hath begun.
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I know ‘tis #Oscars weekend from this hangover. But can’t recall the “Theda” who’s left Donne her number, nor why Jonson seems to have some great lizard in his hotel tub.
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First order of business is shopping in Bel Air to replace the clothes that were reduced to rags on our travels. Fashions have changed, but the old rule still applies: build thy look around thy codpiece.
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Donne hath made us lunch reservations on the Soho House’s roof, but some high roller is refusing to vacate our table.
Marlowe: “Isn’t that the baboon you lost, Ben?”
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Nothing to do for lunch now but drive through In-N-Out Burger, where Jonson orders 60 double cheeseburgers. Then off to Santa Monica. We’re late to meet Welles.
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Orson Welles awaits us on Santa Monica Pier, feeding the seagulls and lecturing them about how they don’t understand cinematography.
Donne: “Lovely afternoon.”
Welles scowls. “It would look better in black and white.”
#ShakesLA