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some self-reflection on the appeal of soft lwj. vulnerable lwj. lets-himself-be-cared-for lwj. even subji. whatever you wanna call it: +
what i adore about soft lwj is that he subverts all of those ideas about personalities defining preferences. just absolutely annihilates them. this is a character who was renowned before reaching adulthood for his power and strength. he has a Title and a reputation of might.
he really doesn’t /need/ anyone. he gets along just fine on his own for years, taking care of other people and putting them first. he /enjoys/ taking care of people, enjoys helping them. he’s just a wonderful guy like that!
but you know what? having your own strength doesn’t mean that you’re never allowed to borrow anybody else’s. admitting one’s desire to be cared for, to be vulnerable, is scary as hell. it takes bravery. know who’s really brave? lan fucking wangji.
there’s a really great scene in ao3 author xantissa’s work vagabond. (cw spoiler, this tweet only, i’ll link the fic below) lwj confesses his desire to bottom and be taken care of in bed, and wwx reacts by internally praising him for his bravery. this is exactly it i feel!!!
it’s the idea of lwj giving up all his tightly guarded control. this is BAIT for a repressed sub. to allow himself to fall apart and know that he has someone there to catch him. i think it’s deeply soothing for him, like a massage for his battered heart. from his husband! 
lwj’s character arc is such a beautiful one bc it deals in part with the idea of finally accepting and embracing one’s desires when they have been intertwined so deeply with shame for one’s entire life. he has 13 years after wwx’s death to grapple with these feelings—
—his own regrets, fears, and guilt. and then he emerges on the other end of things with a courage to his convictions. he is no longer afraid to express the unfaltering devotion he feels toward wwx. and even if he is at first unwilling to place all of those feelings WITH wwx,—
—who is burdened with plenty of his own healing to do, once he finally learns that his love is reciprocated, he doesn’t hesitate one bit to act on it! he has all these Feelings and he finally gets to share them with someone he trusts will take such good care of them!
so you combine a fully-realized adult lwj with the fact that he’s spent his entire life being deprived of the tenderness he craves, the ability to let go, and that he now has wwx to give him those things, and i do indeed feel that you will be left with an unrepentantly soft lwj.
and i think softness is something that wangxian can both delight in! wwx likes being soft with those he loves too! we see this with his siblings, his burial mounds family, and in the end, lwj. the difference with lwj is that he is wwx’s equal, his zhiji, and not an elder sibling—
—or a young child. so not only does wwx enjoy lwj spoiling /him/, he also enjoys spoiling lwj right back! he wants lwj to feel the way lwj makes him feel! they are Partners!! they’re so fucking cute guys!!!!
i also think that post-canon wangxian spend a lot of time being soft just for the sake of being soft. just because they finally fucking can. they’re the best at holding space for e/o. their zhiji will never want for anything, ever again! it goes both ways and that’s beautiful!
so there you have it. the beauty of soft/subji:
1. Strong People can also be Soft People, and lwj knows this and does not care one bit about others’ opinions on the matter.
2. he finally gets to SHARE his love— AND feel wwx’s love shared right back! mutually soft zhijis!
1. Strong People can also be Soft People, and lwj knows this and does not care one bit about others’ opinions on the matter.
2. he finally gets to SHARE his love— AND feel wwx’s love shared right back! mutually soft zhijis!
3. he doesn’t always need to be in rigid control of himself!!! especially not with the one he loves. it is an emotional release that quite frankly he is in desperate need of! let him have it!
there, i have vindicated myself. thank you for reading if you somehow made it this far
there, i have vindicated myself. thank you for reading if you somehow made it this far
link to vagabond by xantissa, a fantastic post-canon casefic with lwj whump and a soft ending: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24461428/chapters/59033776
