These things that are supposed to make me happy or something just make me sad. But I'll probably feel even worse if I don't do it so I don't fuckin know and I've had two thoughts recently that absolutely scared me.

Life has been tough on me recently. I just wanna have a week of being me I'm so fuckin done with this shit right now but that's never gonna happen.

And I thought a vacation in the summer would make me feel better but it's just not gonna be the same anymore. Nothing will be.

This is basically the big problem, NOTHING will be the same again for me! Everything has a connection and I can't stop thinking about it and that's when I scare myself.

How am I even supposed to get over it? It happened in a flash and now everyone expects me to just go back to normal like nothing happened.