//vent// I feel like I& #39;m giving a lot to others but not getting much in return. I feel like I pour my heart into things only to get an "ehh?" back. It feels like I have to create my own happiness, fantasies, pleasures, hopes and aspirations all on my own. I know I should do that.

...But god it feels so lonely. I feel like sometimes, I have to rely solely on fictional people to make me happy or fantasies of life beyond my own, or this pandemic, or in some other world. I haven& #39;t given up hope. I still love everyone in my life.

But god, I& #39;m tired.