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"You don& #39;t look like you have PTSD."
Well, I& #39;m too busy trying to keep my mind occupied so the demons don& #39;t take over and make it impossible for me to function, but I& #39;ll get right on looking the way you think I should.
Well, I& #39;m too busy trying to keep my mind occupied so the demons don& #39;t take over and make it impossible for me to function, but I& #39;ll get right on looking the way you think I should.
"But you are successful, people love you, and you& #39;re always smiling!"
I& #39;m someone who struggles every day with a cornucopia symptoms of PTSD, so yes, I& #39;ve gotten pretty good at hiding behind a mask of "perfection." It& #39;s easier than explaining what& #39;s going on in my head.
I& #39;m someone who struggles every day with a cornucopia symptoms of PTSD, so yes, I& #39;ve gotten pretty good at hiding behind a mask of "perfection." It& #39;s easier than explaining what& #39;s going on in my head.
"But you& #39;re in therapy, and on meds..."
People see their doctors regularly, and are on blood pressure medicine, but their BP still gets high.
I have good days & bad days. On good days, I can take on the world. On bad days, I can& #39;t even muster the energy to watch it burn.
People see their doctors regularly, and are on blood pressure medicine, but their BP still gets high.
I have good days & bad days. On good days, I can take on the world. On bad days, I can& #39;t even muster the energy to watch it burn.
Then there are days where I can& #39;t really feel much because the only way I can function is to shut my feelings down completely. There is no magic pill that makes it go away.
And don& #39;t get me started on therapy. It& #39;s not sunshine and rainbows. Therapy days are my worst days.
And don& #39;t get me started on therapy. It& #39;s not sunshine and rainbows. Therapy days are my worst days.
By the time I& #39;m done, I& #39;m physically, and emotionally spent, but I still have to go through the motions for my family, and my job. I just have to slap a smile on on power through. And then, at the end of the day, I have to try and go to sleep.
I lay down with part of my mind worried about probably having a nightmare and feeling every bit of it, and the other part of my mind will go through every little mistake I made that day, catastrophizing things that aren’t really a big deal.
My logic knows its not a big deal, but my body reacts nonetheless. Essentially, what I hide behind my smile is a mind that won& #39;t shut the fuck up, no matter how hard I try to drown it out. I have to deal with that every single day.
And then here you come, upset because I& #39;m not living up to YOUR goddamn expectations of what YOU think PTSD is, and how I should look and behave. That just makes it SO much easier for me.
