I asked my wife a while back to get some sliced ham from the deli. A vegetarian, she didn't really know how much to ask the deli guy for, and she came home with the thickest pile of thinly sliced ham I've ever seen. Today I am proud to announce I have finally finished the ham.

This may be my greatest achievement since finishing the gigantic package of industrial quality toilet paper we bought from Costco.

The ham was substantially more enjoyable than the toilet paper.

I mean, that's probably always going to be true. Very few scenarios where scratchy toilet paper is better than ham.

Maybe for wiping.

But even that would probably depend on the ham, I reckon.