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SELF-ACCEPTANCE: A Thread
Until I was in my late teens, I had a strong belief that I was ugly. I took all the comments on the way I looked and carried myself seriously. "Your teeth are crooked." So, I used to cover my mouth when laughing.
Until I was in my late teens, I had a strong belief that I was ugly. I took all the comments on the way I looked and carried myself seriously. "Your teeth are crooked." So, I used to cover my mouth when laughing.
When laughing out loud, I made sure to cover it even better. I used to beg my mom that I'd like to wear braces, but she wouldn't let me. She thought my crooked teeth looked beautiful while I took her words as hollow consolation.
Some said, "Your forehead is a little too big." So, I cut bangs. "Your nose is pointy." Here, I really couldn't do anything, so it frustrated me sometimes. "Your hair is too curly. Why don't you straighten them?" I tried it many times only to burn my hair. "You are so short."
I tried all sorts of workouts to match up to the tall fellas. Of course, it resulted in nothing. Can you even defy genetics? "You're too thin." I started eating to prove to people that I wasn't frail.
"You're curvy." Now, I am healthy, and people tell me I need to let go of that flab. "Your skin is too sensitive." I get spots on my legs and hands from epilation. What to do about it? I have never been able to figure it out after trying out a hundred things.
"You dress so weirdly. I think you need to style yourself better." What's my style? I don't know.
Why am I sharing all these things? In recent times, some students told me how they're struggling to accept themselves regarding how they look, carry themselves, get along with people, and so much more.
Although I felt immensely grateful toward them for considering me their confidant, I could sense so much anxiousness and fear in their sharing that it worried me and took me down memory lane. They had so many questions, "What if I am not pretty?"
"What if I can never be as attractive or smart as my friends are?" "What if I can't ever get along with people or make friends?" Of course, I couldn't answer each question they had. All I could do was be there, hold space for them, listen to them, and that's what I did.
But, ever since, I have been thinking about my own journey of self-rejection to self-acceptance ( the work is in progress). It takes so much pain and hurt to try to transcend the worries about bodily imperfections.
It takes so much self-doubt and rejection before we can finally start to make peace with the way we are. With the social media race, the journey to self-acceptance can be even trickier and challenging.
I can only imagine how likes and comments might affect young kids today when it was already so difficult to make peace with these things back in my day.
Of course, I can't save anyone from the doubts, worries, pain, hurt, and rejections they will experience in their journey to self-acceptance. All I can do is empathize with them.
All we can do is empathize with each other, so let's do that with a little more conviction, a little more love.
