Why I, an autistic, always bring the conversation back to myself:

A thread

I can’t tell what the other person is thinking or feeling during a conversation, so my responses are often random and inappropriate.

Bringing the conversation back to myself helps me get my bearings.

I can’t tell what I’m expected to say next, so I fill the gap by talking about what I’m comfortable talking about.

Sometimes the other person can use that momentum to either guide me in the right direction or tie it back into the conversation.

I can’t relate to another person’s situation, so I bridge the gap by clumsily relating it to my own experience, slowly, out loud.

Talking about myself is ironically how I gain empathy towards someone else.

I sometimes bring the conversation back to myself because I’m really excited about my hobby and assume that the other person will feel the same way.

While other people have a natural flow of give-and-take in their conversations, I tend to spout out whatever random things come to mind, because otherwise I’d forget.

While the other person is talking, I’m planning my next move.

When I involve the other person in a conversation, I ask inappropriate questions because I’m curious and need information to proceed talking.

Talking about myself means that I’m not asking rude questions.

Sometimes an autistic like myself will take over the conversation because we’re overwhelmed and talking about something comforting allows us to continue socializing.

When an autistic brings the conversation back to themself, it isn’t because they’re self-absorbed. It’s just how we communicate and even empathize.