some of y'all talk about children like you talk about men: as time and energy burglars who take and consume your me-me-me time and all your money and offer nothing in return. it's very weird.

this is why i push back on that "women have no structural power" nonsense. y'all are narcissistic as hell. children have no structural power, youth poverty is steadily rising, & every day y'all campaign for an end to their "burdensome" existence imposing on your adult "freedoms."

instead of putting your energy towards societal change (including dismantling) y'all focus your energy on being anti-poor and anti-child, much of which is rooted in ableism. it's easier to attack people who have less power than to rail against the system that caused this.

in chasing "equality," i.e. being equal with men, y'all have venerated a way of life you claim to be wholly against-- men's way. in doing so you have decentered those most vulnerable while positioning yourselves as eternal victims. hiring help and focusing on "self-care."

if it don't apply, let it fly, but one of the reasons feminism is failing (or has failed) is because it is poisoned by self-interested biases & bourgeois aspirations. reductive claims abound because it is easier to emulate men & reproduce structures of dominance than to rebel.

finding a "family provider" to hire a maid and/or a nanny so that you can live off your husband's money while you bank yours is not the flex you think it is. "[black] women deserve luxury" is not feminist praxis. shifting from paternalism to "maternalism" is not revolutionary.

*the way I'm using maternalism here is a tongue-in-cheek nod to paternalism, since maternalism actually has to do with "empowered motherhood" and the idea that the mother-child relationship is central to women's existence (re-production of future workers).

note that this thread isn't about your personal choices, nor is it about delaying the decision to have children until you reach a specific goal. my 2 children are 8 years apart for a reason. both of them were planned. (i know. a poor person planning kids, who would've thought!)