Read on Twitter
Out of respect for my dear fried @ftlukens I kept quiet about this because the book released earlier this week and they wanted people to focus on that. But now I’m ready to rant and go for the jugular. https://twitter.com/sgonzalesauthor/status/1385188940404035591">https://twitter.com/sgonzales...
This complete turd of a human decided to bully and harass F.T. because he decided they weren& #39;t queer enough and he thinks that bi women and nonbinary folks in a relationship with a cisgender man aren& #39;t really bi. Folks, buckle up because there& #39;s a lot to unpack here.
First, this author decided to misgender F.T. by saying they are a cisgender woman. The fuck? Granted, the bio on the book uses she/her pronouns, but it& #39;s clear from reading his "review" and relentless Twitter screed about "fake" queers, he doesn& #39;t fucking care.
Let& #39;s get something straight (lol not even trying for a pun here): no one, and I mean NO ONE, has the right to guess at someone& #39;s gender. You don& #39;t know. Not even looking in their pants will tell you the whole story. So STFU and sit the fuck down.
Second, and this is most important, STOP FUCKING POLICING PEOPLE& #39;S QUEER IDENTITY!!!! This has got to stop. You are not the gay police. You don& #39;t get to decide. It& #39;s taken F.T. a really long time to embrace their gender, and this fuckstain has NO right to take that away from them
And now, let& #39;s get into this person& #39;s pretentious and wrong take on what makes someone bisexual. He has actually said that a bi woman in a "het" relationship isn& #39;t really bi. And dear reader, when I tell you I lost it, I am hyperbolically understanding my reaction.
*understating... ugh angry typos are the worst
Anyway, let& #39;s unpack this take, shall we? In this particular instance, Mr. I Like to Hear Myself Talk was 1000% wrong. In no way is a nonbinary person in a relationship with a cisgender man a het relationship. It& #39;s just not. Fucking fight me.
Second, even if F.T. still identified as a woman, it& #39;s still NOT A HET RELATIONSHIP. And, my dude, I will fucking die on this motherfucking hill because I did not spend 30+ years of my life figuring out my repressed attraction to women & nb folks for you to erase me & my friend!
So you knew you were gay from a young age? Figured out you were bi/pan in your teens? Good for you! That& #39;s awesome! You accepted yourself and didn& #39;t internalize homophobia and dated all genders and didn& #39;t limit yourself to het relationships? Cool... I& #39;m so fucking proud of you!
You didn& #39;t realize it until much later when you had only ever dated outside your gender? Amazing! I& #39;m so glad you& #39;re living your truth! You& #39;re a woman married to a man struggling with your bisexuality because you feel like you aren& #39;t queer enough? I see you; you& #39;re valid!
Gay dude on Twitter who thinks he has a monopoly on the queer community because he& #39;s a gay man who is so RepReSSeD™ that he has to tear down his own community in the name of social justice? I see you too, and you unleashed the worst of bad takes.
Story time: I was at a con with F.T. a couple years ago, and all the queer authors had been put in one area (a corner... but that& #39;s a story for another time) and we were approached by a trans lesbian of a certain age. She said "I see your sign says queer books by queer authors."
And I knew where this was going. I knew. So I very perkily said, "Yep." We& #39;re bi/pan, and F.T. is nonbinary." And I kid you not, she turns to me and says, "So who is that man that was here earlier?" And there it is. "The man" she asked about was my husband.
And it took everything I had not to lay into her right then and there. Because I was not about to be erased because I didn& #39;t own the fact I was bi until after I was married. Am I privileged because of that? Oh fuck yeah! No question. But that& #39;s not the fucking point here.
I& #39;m also erased and looked down on in my own community because of that privilege. And that& #39;s a whole different kind of discrimination. It& #39;s not physically dangerous, and I& #39;m not likely to lose my job unless I run around going, "Guess what? I& #39;m bisexual!"
So I& #39;m pretty safe from most of the world& #39;s homophobia if I choose to be. (I don& #39;t. I talk about being bi as much as I can because visibility is important. But again, not the point here.) But here was a woman who felt we were not queer enough because...you know, I don& #39;t even know
I understand gay, lesbian, and trans folks& #39; need to defend their queerness. I do. Y& #39;all have been repressed, beaten, abused, murdered, & mistreated in the most horrible ways. And you are proud to be who you are. I love that. I love it so much I will defend you to my last breath.
But that doesn& #39;t give you, or anyone else, the right to erase bi/pan folks from the community. Let& #39;s have a discussion about how some of us haven& #39;t had it as hard. Sure. Let& #39;s talk about how trans folks are still marginalized far more than gay and lesbian folks.
And please let& #39;s talk about the intersection of queerness and race that represses and harms so many of our BIPOC friends. But don& #39;t you think for a second that I will let you erase my sexuality or F.T.& #39;s gender.
And I sure as fuck won& #39;t stand for one-starring a friend& #39;s book because you think they shouldn& #39;t be allowed to write m/m because they& #39;re not a gay man. Just who the fuck do you think you are? You don& #39;t speak for the queer community, and you sure as fuck don& #39;t speak for me!
If you agree with this man, then there& #39;s the fucking door 
https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🚪" title="Tür" aria-label="Emoji: Tür">See yourself out. But if you think that bi/pan and nonbinary folks belong in the queer community, then say so. Speak out. Support us. Because this kind of shit is what kept me in the closet for 30+ years.
This kind of shit just makes you as awful as straight people who "love the sinner, hate the sin" or think we& #39;re broken because we dare to accept the identity we were born with. You are actively harming our community, and you know it. I mean maybe you just want to be controversial
Maybe you were hurt by a bi person. Maybe you are angry/frustrated over our privilege. If the last one is the case, I can understand that. But none of that gives you the right to attack my friend. To attack their book. Be angry, subtweet them all you want. But ...
You harassed them. You tried to tank their book. So now it& #39;s game on. If I ever see you on my timeline. If you ever come for any of us ever again, you better believe I& #39;ll return the favor. Stay in your cave, troll. And leave the rest of us alone.
