I tried to explain why porn is evil once to my friend and it came down to this.

I am not sure where I should start, so anywhere would work in hopes that I can piece it together into something that makes sense.

Sexual slavery is the industry that powers Pornography, I'd explain.

There's been a good number of women who desperately needed a financial break, and were told that the videos would only be recorded for sale as DVDs in other countries and never online, and before you know it, the video is online and they are in eternal battles to take them off.

This same thing is happening in the illegal organ sales trade. Little children and desperate adults in impoverished countries who sell their kidneys and other body parts for their basic survival.

These people are people too, made in God's image too, who deserve better with life.

A lot of women have been tricked into porn, their lives ruined because they can't have jobs, because every conversation revolves around their now so explicit past.

There's even a popular story about the children of pornhub, everyone should read it. https://www.nytimes.com/2020/12/04/opinion/sunday/pornhub-rape-trafficking.html

For a lot of people, one video led to another because these producers now have leverage over these women. Sexual exploitation is a huge industry, it gets violent for some of these women, they are owned as objects of sexual pleasure while they keep minting cash for their owners.

porn performers are not fictional characters, pretending to have sex. These are real people, engaging in acts that destroy their conscience and warp their minds. some have to do drugs and are at risk of deadly diseases just because they can't get out easy from this line of work.

So the scenes you absolutely love that speak to sexual freedom and all the things we paint around these things these days, are actually people who've lost their sense of self and have to live a lie daily to get by.

As long as pornography is desired globally, sex slavery thrives.

You think the world is so liberal? No, someone is paying the price in their own privacy and humanity and self worth. Ex performers talk about how dehumanizing the journey is, and how they have to push themselves to extremes to try and forget what they've done to themselves.

Hence the heavy drug use in the industry.

So everytime these scenes we love come on the big screen (sometimes small screen) remember that someone is losing themselves and is helpless about this situation that gives us inordinate pleasure.

What does love demand of us here?

You know, it may not be so simple. But God is explicit about these things, he wants us to stand up for others who are being oppressed in society. Sexual slavery is slavery.

It's not even a distant past, but we saw how Nigerians escaping Nigeria were treated in Libya?...

Now think of women who are taken into sexual slavery by people who deceive them with a better life abroad. I grew up in Benin, these things are popular conversations.

Or even women who have sex with their boyfriends whom they trust and they are secretly recorded, this ruins them

But this responsibility lies with the rest of us who can subscribe for, watch these things and be indirect slave masters. You are given the reins to control these human beings with every time you pause and rewind, someone's humanity is being devalued in this way.

If they had the luxury of better choices, most of them will not do these things, and even some who do willingly, come to the realisation that this doesn't respect their bodies. but this is the allure of sexual slavery, you may never really know that there is a leash on your neck

Both for the performers and the audience.

People would typically shy away from this, but it needs to be talked about.

Anytime someone tells me they need help and that they are struggling with porn, I tell them "that's a good thing, what would you rather have? Not struggle?"

And I feel like we think struggling with porn is a bad thing, but I often tell people who come to me with it that "you need to healthily contend with this thing that is trying to kill you, it shows that you do not want it."

So struggle is good, that you are struggling is good.

So how should you view porn performers? Not as objects of sexual pleasure, but as image bearers of God. Yes, this is hard.

God created each person and knows them intimately (Psalm 139:13-16), and he longs to restore them to himself.

This psalm always humbles me on this subject.

Everytime, this scripture talks to me about how everyone is God's and should be treated as such. No one is less than the other and their bodies are not to be treated as tools for sexual satisfaction but to be valued as ones made by God.

This reorients my view of these performers

You have to change how you see. If you see these people as "for my use" or "less than me", you'd always find yourself not respecting them and using them for sexual gratification. You have to change how you see these performers and everyone generally.

Love does no wrong to others

The love of Jesus for us spurs us to love others wholesomely.

Just as the commandment "You shall not murder" (Exodus 20) sets a clear limit in order to safeguard the value of human life, I also feel like today we also have to say "You shall not" to sexual exploitation.

"Looking at another person with lust—as only a sexual object to enjoy, control, and use—is a sin. It is a disordered view of the person, because it is ordered toward use, as of a thing, rather than love, which pertains to persons.

This is why Pornography can never be justified.

Pornography is that monster we love to deny, make excuses for, but we know people (sometimes ourselves) who are deeply addicted, people who have damaged relationships with their partners and friends because of sexual addiction that pornography so easily powers. This is not normal

One of pornography’s allure and most persuasive lie is;
You’re not hurting anyone. But you are. You are one extra view that keeps these people that God made and loves bound.

You are hurting yourself and your relationships, and you are someone who God loves and deeply cares for.

Christianity does not want the annihilation of sexual desire. It’s about the reorientation of it for love. Sexual desire is a God-given gift which should propel us to make a gift of ourselves to our spouse. Lust, on the other hand, doesn’t propel us to give—it compels us to take.

God wants us to think about sex, and I feel like I'd have someone come with Christianity and the purity theology. So I'd say it again, God wants us to think about sex a lot! but he wants us to channel our sexual urges in SERVICE to our partner in the context of marriage.

Trust me, I didn't come to think of these things magically, I've had to learn at the feet of a beautiful man and woman, an elder couple, my counsellors who for 28 weeks reoriented my view of sex and pornography and in fact helped me live a life of freedom, if forever be thankful.

So for people who struggle with porn, I feel like this would give you some sort of peace, you are not alone. I've recently had to walk someone through, it's not funny business, and I myself have accountability structures layers thick to help me as well.

So, you are not alone.

Freedom is not so much a destination as it is a daily decision we make. Your goal today is not, “Okay, I’ll never look at porn again!” Instead, it is, “Today, I resolve to be the person God made me to be, and that means: today I will not get sucked into lust and pornography.”

Something I tell myself daily: Today I choose to honor God in my body, today I choose to present my body a living sacrifice, today I choose to love people like Christ, today I choose to rest in his finished work, and trust that you would complete this journey you have started".

Why do I do this? Because the world is so saturated with messaging that tells you to "live for now" to "do you" to "be a king" and "if you feel it, do it" and "if something you are doing scares you, then it's probably the right thing" and its so subtle, the sexual liberation.

But something my Counsellor would tell me "what they never tell you is; at what cost?"

I feel like it gets overwhelming for a lot of people because we are trying to count years behind us and honor God in our bodies and that can be a battle especially as we often fall many times.

Real freedom is a lifetime of todays and moment by moment choices. Jesus tells us not to worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself.

When the bible tells us that we do not have a high priest who is not touched by the feelings of our infirmities, he knows.

And like Peter, you are going to have to learn to walk on the water with your eyes fixed on Jesus not on the waves of the perversion that has held you down for most of your life.

Real freedom is a lifetime of todays and moment by moment choices and decisions to be better.

Trust me, I know, you won't get it right all the time, but what does Jesus say? Jesus tells us not to worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Victory is NOW.

Isn't it interesting how the bible talks about NOW?

He says "there is therefore NOW no condemnation"

Victory is moment by moment decisions, and don't go beating yourself about your failures.

Jesus has taken the punishment for your sins and this enormous show of love for everyone on the cross and in his death, burial, resurrection and ascension spurs us to good things everytime.

There's help everytime you get cornered by this beast. Speak, don't battle thoughts with thoughts, break the cycle by speaking God's word over yourself.

I'd love to go into the details of how to get out of the jaws of this evil, in fact I should. I'd give a summary.

1. You need to highlight your triggers. Sometimes it's boredom, failing at work or school or an exam, sometimes it's what you surround yourself with. You need to detail them and work your means of escape out.

God doesn't tell you to stay/deal with it, he asks you to run from it.

2. You need to cut off things that give you access to porn and you are the only one that can do this. First unfollow people who always retweet these things or post sexually explicit content. That's a great first step.

Next, maybe avoid platforms altogether. I don't use Instagram

Because of this same reason, I've tried to hack it, but it's not working for me.

3. Have a schedule, be about your business, leave no time unscheduled, an idle mind is still the devils workshop, the battlefield is still your mind. I bet you if David was at war, you know the rest

4. If you do not have strength, surround yourself with people who spur you on to goodness in this area. They are called accountability partners. Talk to them, be honest, choose people who care for your growth and won't judge you but speak life to your body and your mind.

5. Allow Jesus lead. You need to allow him teach you. The holy spirit is a great teacher.

The holy spirit says things to me like "that thing you are looking for, when you see it, what would you do then?"

And then, he'd say "you don't run from things by running to them"

Man!

6. When you fail, dust up and continue. We do not have a father who isn't supportive of us. Never have I seen a father who when his child starts to learn to walk, they boo the child for falling on their first attempts? Instead they cheer them.

Surround yourself with people who

Cheer you, who instruct you.

Remember when I made a thread about community?

The bible says it explicitly "But exhort one another daily, while it is called To day; lest any of you be hardened through the deceitfulness of sin."

Hebrews 3:13 https://my.bible.com/bible/1/HEB.3.13

7. Avoid triggering situations. For me, I don't hangout at night, you'd never find me at a night event, except it's with believers.

8. Curiousity still killed the cat. What are you looking for in people's likes and replies? Why do you have a curious cat account?

In all, maintain a healthy relationship with God, this won't be a smooth sailing journey, but we have a father who is there to catch you every single time, and cheer you on to better.

Have a great day folks, I know my DMs will be full, I promise I will get to you, I promise.

Let's pray. Father, I am yours and you are mine, teach me to love you in my body and to present myself a living sacrifice daily, holy and acceptable. Amen.

I often write confessions, you can say them when you feel cornered or overwhelmed by the guilt of sexual addiction.

Amen