It's been 13 years since Abbu left, Amma shouting at sehri time "jaldi ao dekho tmhare abbu kuch bol nhi rhe", a sudden cardiac arrest causing brain hemorrhage, he couldn't survive. Every year in Ramzan he used to tell Amma "bacho ka roza hota hai achi si aftari bnaya karo".

I was his favourite kid, he would say to Amma "dekhna tum meri beti bohat parhe gi or ise university chorne khud jaya krunga main" I missed you the day I graduated, how badly I wanted to take him to my graduation day.

He would always say "jab tum barri hojaogi to phr tmari maa ko chutti de dunga main, mre saare kam tum krna". It's been so many years, I miss him everyday, I miss his voice, how each day he would come back from work and would call my name.

People say "Barra bhai baap ki jagah hota hai", I agree bhai loves me and all these years he never made me feel Abbu's absence but I still have this unfullfilled wish inside me he used to say "jb tm parh likh k ksi achi jgah pe kam pe lago gi na to sb se ziada khushi mjhe hogi"

How excited he was to see me going to work, sharing his responsibilities. How badly I wanted to share my first salary with him. People at his workplace still remember him as "bohat ache insan they apk Abbu".

Every year, 9th Ramzan, I wait for him for aftar but Abbu nahi atey. Everything since he left has changed. The world that looked fancy has turned into an unending ugly nightmare.

I'm tired but I'm trying and I'll make sure to make you proud one day. I miss your warmth, your unconditional love, your care and you.